I Think I Have Slight Paranoia

It's official.

I do NOT know how to be in a relationship.

Does that annoy anyone else besides me and my boyfriend? Probably not. Well, maybe my mother since she tends to be the soundboard for all my drama-especially the self-inflicted kind. Sorry Mom.

I have this problem with internalizing EVERYTHING. Which isn't a problem when it's just me I'm internalizing things about. But when you're in a relationship, internalizing things about the relationship is not good.

(And that's when those of you who have been in a relationship longer than me=more than 3 months-says DUH!)

So last night I got upset over something semi-trivial between me & Z. His decision was made out of pure intentions and would even give us a glimpse into our future. Why wasn't I happy with that??? Because I'm a little lot selfish and sometimes usually only think about what is best for me. But I realize now that this task Z signed us up for is key for us getting a taste of our future in ministry together so I'm more than happy to accompany him. The problem is that instead of sharing my feelings of frustration last night, I internalized them and he had no idea that I was upset. Not healthy for a budding romance. And not fair to him either. We've been EXTREMELY open in our communication up to now and it wasn't fair for me to keep this from him.

So I came clean this AM and being the absolute doll that he is, he acted in total forgiveness and grace. So we've cleared things up. I just need a little Relationship Fairy that will tap me on the shoulder to let me know when I'm doing/saying things that are detrimental to my boyfriend.

Anybody know one that's looking for work since I'm pretty sure Tinkerbell is booked???