It's FINALLY here!

Splish! Splash! It's a Bible bash!
Gonna have fun in the Son-God's Son!
The words of the Father are flowing like water
So we oughta ride the wave of God's love!

And so goes the theme song to WaterWorks! Park VBS. We started to ride our first wave of the week last night and learned about God's love finding a way. We heard about Moses and the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. We made Red Sea picture frames. We played a Crossing the Sea water game and we learned our theme song and the song for the night-God's Love Finds A Way. And all in all, we had a blast! Everything went off without a hitch (minus me running around with my head spinning) and everyone had fun!

Here is a re-cap of prep and our 1st night in my favorite posting form-Mr. List...

*5-6 hours were spent both Thursday evening and Friday evening prepping for VBS. Thursday was tear down & prep the premises day. Friday was paint and start the foyer day. Our foyer at the church is absolutely HUGE (and echoes very heavily b/c of the tile floor) but is beautiful and worked perfectly for our water park theme. Saturday I spent 16 hours working on VBS stuff and although I couldn't move or think straight or answer any more questions or make any more decisions at the end of the day, I couldn't have asked for a better VBS facility. My volunteers worked tirelessly and put up with my OCD, perfectionist, slightly control freak personality and it all paid off! They are amazing and as you can tell from the descriptions below, deserve all the credit.

*We were able to set up different areas in our gargantuous foyer including 2 waterfalls, a play sand area, locker rentals, a picnic area, a sit & sip cafe, a waterfall including a kiddie pool half full of water, a pictures and prizes area, the tube/raft rentals, and thank you sign.

*Side story: Saturday after finishing the physical labor, a group of us were sitting in the office talking and laughing. After about 30 minutes, our pastor's wife went to check on her youngest child and the children (ages 3 & 4) of a church member who had brought them while he worked on repairing some tile in our foyer. When she came back to the office and posed this question: "Bethany, are we still friends?", I knew something had happened. As I reached the foyer, her 4 year old who is my favorite kid in the entire world, approached me and asked me to hold him. And as I picked him up and felt his wet clothing from the waist down, I knew something was amiss. Come to find out, my little man and his friends had decided to go swimming in the kiddie pool we had at the bottom of the waterfall you see in the pics. After swimming, they played in the sandbox (that is actually an inflatable pool) and just had a grand ol' time. Isn't that what you're supposed to do when there's a pool and sandbox inside the church??? How great is that? All the joys of playing outside without the heat or chance of rain! And so, I laughed. I laughed to keep from crying. I laughed because I was exhausted. I laughed because my brain couldn't fathom what a church full of kids would do to the place if just 3 could make such a mess. But it was SO worth it!

*Sis. Jeri (my VBS saving grace) transformed our senior adult Sunday school room into the Bible Bay complete with a boat & real dock. Absolutely AMAZING!

*The senior high Sunday school classroom became our Splash-Tacular! music & memory verse area in a day thanks to my good friend Dustie who did a wonderful job despite being sick last week. It looks great and the kids have a good space to learn songs & dances as well as play their memory verse games.

*1/2 of the fellowship hall became the Gift & Souvenir Shop thanks to Ash who painted signs and fish for their backdrop. Many kids will be able to let their creative juices flow there as Amanda & Debbie lead them this week. Thankfully, there is enough space for a rousing game of musical chairs when the kids get finished with crafts early. Thanks to the brains behind that idea-I don't know what we would have done w/the extra time otherwise.

*The headquarters for Snack Shack & Raging River just got signs but the real treat is the treats themselves. Bro. Charles & Sis. Alta got very excited about our Moses Parting the Red Sea snacks which were blue jell-o columns laying on either side of a graham cracker w/chocolate frosting & teddy grahams (crossing the sea). They were TOO CUTE and worked so well and the kids (and workers-including myself) enjoyed them as well. We've got cute snacks for the whole week and it works well for games & snacks to occur simultaneously on our schedule. I can't wait to see what Kristy & her crew serve up tonight!

*Angie & Jennifer created our Pre-K (read 3 & 4 year olds) Splash Lagoon from our student ministries center. They set up several different areas for their kids and I pretty much gave them free reign. They have worked VERY hard as the Pre-K curriculum is almost its own mini-VBS. They join the group for snacks and music but other than that they are on their own.

*And the base for this whole operation? Coconut Island which Sis. Jeri again transformed into a cool hangout for our kids. We have a huge waterfall, puppet area, kiddie pool, great sign (thanks to some great men), and prizes laid everywhere for our kids. And the front of the stage is covered in paper to look like a boardwalk. Needless to say, no thanks to me, that Island works GREAT for our opening & closing activities.

I'm posting pictures below so you can experience Water Works! Park for yourselves. I think it turned out FABULOUSLY! Check back later in the week for more updates and fun stories!

*Quote of the day for Sunday's VBS: (straight from the blue mouth of a self-biter) "I think you oughta consider sugar-free for me tomorrow!" Ya think?!?!? I KNOW!

Blessings,
Bethany

A Shout Out

This blog is dedicated to some AMAZING people in my life who I feel deserve a little appreciation (that could never be sufficient repayment for all they do).

To Ash:
What a wonderful friend you have become! Who would have thought that 2 guys (though losers) could bring about such a fabulous friendship??? You have become one of my dearest amigas and I am so thankful for who you are (& that you put up w/me and my antics). I am blessed and privileged to call you my friend-my whole move to TX is worth it b/c of your friendship. Our personalities balance each other out and I can't imagine living in Paris without knowing you're just down the road. You are so precious to me and I am certain that God has blessings immeasurable for you in the future. You deserve only the best and as you are a mighty woman of God, I know He will bestow that on you! I love you as a sister and appreciate you more than you will ever know! And I can't wait for Madea nights... (:

To Mark:
I never would have guessed that I would meet such a kind, gentle and giving soul in Paris. Thank you for being so open, honest & encouraging with me and for building up my faith in myself. You have become a good friend who I look forward to getting to know better. Your dedication and commitment to our church after only a few weeks is incredible and God has greater things in store for you than you ever thought possible! I'm excited to share this part of the journey with you. Thanks for all you do and for being you!




I have some unbelievable people in my life and don't tell them that enough. These two worked for hours last night helping me get VBS stuff ready and I could not do it (or life at this point) without them. They are key ingredients in the mixture of my life and I am so grateful that God allowed our paths to come together for this season of my life. Maybe I should start a tradition-Fab Friend Friday??? We'll see-I'll prob'ly forget by next week. Anyway, here's to Ash & Mark-some amazing people that I give serious props to!

Duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...

(That was for my friend Will, who I'm sure has never read this nor will he ever. It's our special sound effect-like in the scary movies...)

With D-day the 1st day of VBS lurking around the corner, I have officially settled into panic mode. Most people would see that as a problem, perhaps even an indication of the tone of VBS...but not me! I see it as the most productive time for me. I work VERY well under pressure and am looking forward to the next few 16-18 hour days. Crazy right? I know. But honestly, for me, the planning and organizing of big events is just as satisfying as the event itself. I am ALL about creativity & ideas. I absolutely LOVE planning & organizing things. So this VBS has become my "baby" of sorts. I started with the 1st ideas and researching curriculum and I'll see it through to the end of Thursday night, complete w/a July 4th fireworks display just down the road from the church and on to clean up and follow up with the kids. I'm excited, just nervous. I want it to be perfect (duh, I'm a perfectionist) and I'm doing all I can to make that happen. Let's just hope the kids show up to enjoy it!

In other news, why in the world (literally) are people reading my blog? I write mainly for myself and my parents so I really only expected to see 2 visitors from Maiden & 1 from Paris (me) on my NeoCities list. What's up w/all the other random people reading? If you're one of them, would you care to identify yourself and let me know how you found me and what you think? I love feedback-especially constructive criticism (so be kind, harsh words won't get you far). Anyway, just curious about all you readers out there. (And Mom & Dad, if you're logging in under other names & hiding behind profiles listed in CA or Amsterdam, give it up already. I'm ok w/my audience of 2.)

Blessings,
Bethany
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

It has happened...

Today, while I was browsing the Yellow Pages online, the unthinkable & totally unexpected happened. I was searching for a restaurant in TN (where I moved from) and as I typed the state abbreviation, my fingers automatically typed TX!!! I never thought I would adjust to being in the second "T" state on the drop-down list but apparently I have. I guess I am officially a Texan-especially now that my car has been branded. :( All that's left is for me to get branded (i.e. change my driver's license) which I'm holding out on as long as I possibly can...

There's no song...

for Tuesdays that I can think of off the top of my head so I'll guess the soundtrack to my life is on *pause* for now. But, I guess if I had to pick a song for today it would be...

Time Is by DC Talk

But mainly just the chant: Time is tickin' away, time is tickin'-tick, tock That is def my theme right now w/T-4 days until the big event.

Which brings me to this question of curiosity: Who thought up the idea that the sounds of a clock are "tick, tock"? I guess it's a bit of onomatopoeia but who would have thought???

And yet I digress...again...

Today is a busy day as usual. Last night was quite productive. I spent some time doing laundry at a friend's (who is now my fave friend b/c she brought me chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream from the store while I was there-the diet is out the window until after VBS) and I finished up most of the computer items I needed to accomplish for VBS. When I got home, I cleaned house-mainly my floors b/c I want to try the whole "no shoes=less dirt" thing. I figure it's worth a shot-I get so many bugs & dirt in my house and I'm so tired of it. I think I will ask my landlord to get an exterminator to come or see if I have to hire one myself. I'm tired of killing all these bugs. I've never had them anywhere else I've lived like I do here.

Ok, don't be grossed out but I also actually wiped my kitchen floor down w/Clorox wipes which was my first time to do anything that even resembles mopping since I moved in-last October. So for almost 9 months I've had dirty kitchen floors. They're still kinda dirty looking (I think it's the laminate) but at least they're pretty germ-free. (*Special friend who eats sausages off the floor, you can now rest easy...) ;)

So today, my day is filled w/sending off birthday cards, picking up flags to borrow for VBS, working at the church, & doing our last minute shopping for final items (although I know I'll have to go back Sunday afternoon right before it starts). Yes indeed, panic mode is setting in but at this point, there's not much else I can do. I am trying to psych myself up w/each passing day. Hopefully by Sunday, my mouth won't be broken out w/ulcers from the stress and I will have found just a little time to sleep. (Yeah, right...who am I kidding?)

Wow, I just read back over this post & I'm pretty boring aren't I? Who, besides me, will be glad when I can stop writing about VBS??? (Yes, I see those hands.) I do apologize for my boring entries as of late. I just haven't had a life for the past 6 weeks. But I promise you, July 4th-let freedom ring-For our country & for me! :)

Monday, Monday

ah ah, ah ah ah ah

And so reads the subject line of the e-mail I sent my mother today.

I don't know whether to be thankful it's Monday or dread the day altogether. We're at T minus 5 days until VBS and I don't think I could have worked on it any more this weekend if I tried. After my Friday night chaos, Saturday I was "blessed" to be able to spend 12 hours working at the church. The men have been working basically non-stop all week to raise the ceiling in the sanctuary so my 12 hours is almost a non-contributor when looking at the overall picture. But for me, it was a big deal. Especially after getting 3 1/2 hours sleep Friday night and not much more than that Wednesday or Thursday.

But I will say this: Our church looks FANTASTIC! I am so proud of all the effort everyone has put in to work on this project and I absolutely can't wait to see the finished project once the carpet is installed. There's still a little painting to do in the sanctuary, but once it's finished, I'll be sure to post before & after pics. As I told Pastor, it makes me smile every time I walk by it and I can't wait to have VBS in there. :) Who knew what a difference a raised ceiling could make? As one lady said, "Our building is starting to look like an actual church now." We are such a blessed people to have a Pastor who has goals and visions for our church and actually helps us realize them.

My Saturday was spent passing out flyers for VBS in neighborhoods in the AM, then picking up lunch for the workers and organizing VBS (a little) when I wasn't answering the "Sister Bethany, where do we keep the...?" or "Sister Bethany, where could I find the...?" or "Sister Bethany, where would ... be?" questions I got all day. And the last few hours, I spent cleaning and organizing for Sunday. In all honesty, I LOVE working at my church. The people, the smells, the building...I love every aspect of it. But Saturday I would have done well to get some actual work done. I guess it will all come out in the wash as they say.

By the end of the day Saturday, they had the sanctuary back in functional order-I'll admit, I had my doubts when they were still less than 1/2 way done installing panels on Thursday. But it looks FABULOUS! Everything was cleaned and ready to go for Sunday. I even conked out on my couch at 11 after a late supper and TOTAL lack of preparing my Sunday School lesson. At 6 I got up and took my contacts out (a lotta good that did) and went back to be for what was supposed to be an hour. But I didn't get up until 8:15 which is SO not good.

So my Sunday started a little rough because not only did I oversleep, when I finally got to church I got caught up in helping a few people and trying to get the VBS promo DVD working and got to look over my lesson, um...once before we started class at 9:45. I really can't do my kids that way. It's not fair to them and it's a total disrespect to God. Def gotta work on that...

But it went well as did church. My VBS skit went great-especially since I had to rope a new guy into helping me (but he and his wife are a lot of fun & he did SUPERB). And Pastor's message was PHENOMENAL! I didn't think he'd have that much energy after working so hard and so long last week but once again, he brought the Word and brought it hard. He spoke about giving God what we have left -even if it's just a little bit-so He can give us what He has for us. We have to take what the widow had in 1 Kings, 2 sticks (the cross), a little bread (Jesus, the Bread of Life), and some oil (the anointing) and live by that so that God can do the greater work in us. It really spoke to me b/c here lately, all I've had is just a little bit to give God and I haven't felt like that's good enough. But I was reminded that whatever I have, if I offer it all to God, is good enough b/c it's not what I have to offer, it's what God can supernaturally do with it that counts.

Ok, enough re-preaching of his message. So Sunday afternoon I went and ate lunch, ran home, totaled up Sunday School counts, finished up signs to be painted for VBS and by that time, my kids were showing up for puppet practice. We had a good practice but have some work to do. It'll be fine though-I think. Church went well & Pastor brought another good message about discipleship being demanded not requested. I enjoyed it a lot as well although my body started shutting down about 1/2 way through. By the time church was over and I had wrapped up what I needed to do, I was pooped. So I called home and chatted w/dad (whose 1st night of VBS was last night), chatted with Ash to check on her mom (who is home and doing better-not 100% but better) & hit the sack. I was in bed before 10 and planned to get up early as I mentioned before but we all know how that ended.

Needless to say, today has been a blur of work, VBS stuff, bank stuff, and being tired. It may take me a while to recuperate but it'll be worth it-for the kids. That's what I keep telling myself anyway. Lots left to do-shopping, picking up items, making signs/handouts... I'm getting nervous and am about to hit panic mode (as I do w/any major project) but at least in panic mode I get VERY productive.

Until next time...VBS ON THE BRAIN :)

Blessings,
B
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise You more and more.
Psalm 71:14

Life Is Fragile

I just got home a few minutes ago from a very emotionally draining evening/night/morning. I don't have my wits about me enough to mess w/html formatting or even know if this blog will make sense but I had to write to get it all out (even though I called and woke my poor mother up on my way home at 4:30am EST).

Anyway, I was over at my Pastor's house w/his wife and 2 of his children watching something on tv when the phone rang. It was 10:30 so I told his wife that I hoped it was someone they knew b/c I would hate to have random ppl calling me that late. It turned out to be her mom who was just getting home from the hospital in VA where they live. Her father had collapsed and they had to take him to the hospital. He is ok at present but prior to being ok (but still in ICU), he had to have his heart shocked only to discover that the top half is working ok but the bottom half is not as good. There are some complications since he is 82 and has heart conditions but things are looking ok for now. At least he's stable. Needless to say, that sent my friend into panic mode-as she is already a worrier. I called Pastor who was still at the church working (since we have to have our sanctuary in functional order in less than 36 hours) and told him what happened and he rushed home. I stayed for a bit longer and then had to leave b/c...

One of my best friends here in Paris called me during the middle of my Pastor's wife's breakdown and told me they were taking her mom to the ER b/c she was very disoriented and didn't know who people were. She has multiple health problems but this evening, she just started crying b/c she didn't know anyone and felt very out of place. So I drove down to C-ville (30 minutes East of Paris) and sat w/them for a few hours. It was such a pitiful sight and I don't know how anyone deals w/the sickness &/or death of their parents. Someone would have to cart me out in a casket if something ever happened to mine. It would break my heart.

And the thing is, it's not so much these things happening that bothers me. It's being so far away from them if something were to happen. I can't imagine what I would do. I would FREAK! But I bind that power of the enemy's in Jesus name & know that I will be ok when that day comes.

So tonight (this morning), I ask you to pray specifically for Ash & Shay & their families. God needs to intervene to change things and I believe He will satisfy our every need-material & immaterial. I love Him & trust Him with my heart. Do you? And be kind to those you love. We all too often take for granted the grace of Jesus but remember to have grace with others. And please, as my last request, please share with those you love that you do. Don't take them for granted. Make them feel loved, unique & wanted. God will do the rest.

Walk in blessing & victory today!
Blessings,
Bethany
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise You more and more.
Psalm 71:14

Yes...

I redesigned the site already. After some feedback from my readers mom, I've reformatted things to be more pretty & pleasing. Is this better???

Mirror, Mirror

Allow me to rant for a minute... What's that you say? All I ever seem to do is rant??? Well, ok. That is may be a partial lie.

I've been pretty frustrated lately in the "men" department. Not just b/c my last one turned out to be such a lemon but b/c of the ones that are currently present in my life. With the exception of family members & my pastor, I've pretty much written men off. I don't have many expectations any more and I surely don't have any hope of finding Mr. Right any time soon. (See this post.)

Now, fortunately I get God's sense of humor sometimes. Which is why I went on a date with the guy I lovingly refer to as Richard the Redneck. Now I met Richard online through MySpace thanks to my ex's aunt (AWKWARD) who told him about me. Why she thought I was still so heartbroken over her nephew that I needed to be fixed up with anyone is beyond me but she did. So prior to even knowing this guy's name, he already knows what kind of car I drive, where I live and lots of other details about myself. Thank God I lock my doors at night or he might know what I eat for dinner every night. Anyway, feeling guilty about this guy and wanting to meet new friends, I told Richard I'd go to dinner with him. And we did. And it was fine. He's very shy and quiet so I talked A LOT about NOTHING. But it was fine. And honestly, Richard treated me better than any guy I've dated in while (minus the whole not-opening-the-door-for-me & not-bringing-me-anything-not-even-flowers deal). He was kind and I can tell he's a very gentle guy. He is my age, which is a plus, as I think we all know how wonderfully both older & younger men work out for me. *insert sarcasm* But I digress, Richard is a nice guy and as I said, very kind but in all honesty, I'm just simply not attracted to him. I think it's more that I'm attracted to the thought of him and not him. Needless to say, I would love to hang out-I like meeting new people and having different kids of friends-but I don't think he's interested in being friends. In fact, I know that. How do I know that? Take this conversation (that I'm having to paraphrase b/c the phone it was saved on died last week) for instance:

Me: Can I ask you a ?
Richard the Redneck: Sure
Me: Why is it we can have such great conversations via text but when we're in person, you're so quiet? Do I talk that much or do I scare you or something?
RtR: lol No. It's just that I have to be comfortable and warm up to somebody before I talk much. And if it we did talk, I'd want to talk about a relationship.
Me: What do you mean "talk about a relationship"?
RtR: I mean that when you and I talk, I'd wanna talk about being a couple.
Me: Oh. Well, can't we just talk as friends?
RtR: Of course we can. But promise me one thing.
Me: What's that?
RtR: That when you're ready to settle down, if I'm still single, you'll give me a holler.

Now, do you think the boy gets the picture that I just want to be friends? I'm thinking NO. And so the ever-impending chase of Bethany continues. (And although it is a bit strange, it does make me feel good about myself in a weird, "random strangers are in love w/me" kind of way. I guess everybody wants to feel wanted-regardless of how fescennine the situation may be.)

Ok, I have seriously digressed. The title of this post is "Mirror, Mirror" and was inspired by an encounter of sorts from Wednesday. The question I posed to the girls in my office as I filled in for the receptionist during lunch yesterday was this: What female human being on the planet earth told any male that a 6 inch long, pointy goatee is attractive? There's a guy at church that has one-such a nice guy and loads of laughs but his goatee totally throws me. And poor RtR-he would be pretty decent looking if he'd shave his. Don't get me wrong-I don't have a problem w/facial hair but I am a firm believer that a man can have clean cut facial hair and not the hairy bush or wooly handlebars so many of them have. Needless to say, I would love to give each man I know (that currently has facial hair) a lesson in personal hygiene which includes a 2-part series on the importance of grooming facial any hair on their body. I don't know many women that are attracted to such monstrosities and so I believe it would serve them well to heed my advice. Although, there has to be a reason they grow such vulgarities and I'm curious as to that reason. What is there about a snow-cone cup growing out of your chin that is so appealing? I don't get it. Can anyone enlighten me???

I suppose it would be a bit controlling of me to tell a man how to cut his hair (be it facial or otherwise). Besides, I'm a bit fearful of any man telling me what to do-I have that independent streak y'all. So, for now I'll just keep searching for a clean-cut, goatee laden lad-if there are any out there.

DRUMROLL PLEASE

dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada
(What did you think I was going to do? Wait for you to do the drumroll?)

Here it is-my newly redesigned site! Not that I prefaced this re-construction w/any kind of announcement or preparation. Heck, I didn't even know it was gonna occur. But the past couple of days have taken a turn for me. As most of you my mom knows, I really enjoy blogging. For some reason, I can find lots more time to devote to typing that I can to journaling w/actual pen & paper. And I can make this site so much more pretty that just a regular journal. And mom, what's my standard for clothes, shoes, purses, etc.??? They have to be PRETTY.

So when I started my blog, it was very simple. I knew nothing-absolutely nada-about blogging. And I was ok with that. But lately, while I've been reading other random blogs working and reflecting on my blog, I've noticed that everyone else's is pretty snazzy. As compared to mine anyway.

So yesterday, I get this idea in my mind (since I don't have enough going on already) that I'm going to take some tutorials or at least read up on how to improve my blog. And I actually did. (It didn't end up on my "To Do" list, then on my "To Do...Seriously" list, and then to my "Do Before I Die" list-yes I do have one.) And thanks to some great tips from some great bloggers, I can now present my random thoughts in a more interesting visual manner. I'm even planning to snap some pics to post and add a few more widgets as I've learned they are termed. I've even learned a little html formatting which should impress my brothers (like they ever read this). :) But I'm quite proud of myself. I really do want to become more technologically literate-at least in the comp department. *Sit down before you read this next sentence.* I even contemplated taking a computer course on some of this stuff at the local junior college. (Unfortunately they aren't offering anything of the sort right now). Can you tell I'm a bit obsessed with this little project??? Which is DEFINITELY not good considering VBS is 10 DAYS AWAY.

And so, to all my friends out in blogland Mom & Dad, here's the new site. Let me know what you think-good, bad or indifferent. What do you like or dislike? What widgets should I add? What should I delete? Is my color combination aesthetically pleasing? What pics do you wanna see? And most importantly, is it pretty???

Liar, Liar

That's me. I so thought I would have time to blog today. Who am I kidding??? I have VBS in 11 days-my time is no longer my own. Which would explain why I'm still up at 12:11am. 12:12.

Anyway, I have no hope of any real blogging any time in the near future unless it's a plea for my sanity or assistance. So don't look to hear from me unless I manage a little free time at work-which is also unlikely.

However, I have been productive. I made my huge Wal-Mart VBS purchase tonight and the ladies were nice enough to help me out by looking up the church's tax exempt #. How kind of them. :) And I also got groceries for myself-which is an accomplishment since I haven't done that in almost a month. When I got home, I synced my Treo w/my comp since I don't want to go through losing another phone & having NO information saved. And I made up my "Still Left to Buy" list that I'll need this weekend when Ash & I go to Rockwall-solely for the purpose of buying VBS stuff. ;)

And now, at 1:06am, I have balanced my finances. Ah, the joys of single life.

Yes, I'll be regretting this in the morning...

Sleep, come quickly please...

So here it is, 11:08pm as I begin this post and I am not having much luck shutting my body down for the day. Lucky for you readers, I am in a much better frame of mind than I was during my last real post. (And mom, you can still vent to me. You know I like to solve problems so don't get all silent on me now that you think I'm tired of worrying about you.)

Overall, today has been a good day. Work was productive and a potential tiff w/a co-worker was avoided. I got the T-shirts ordered for VBS-well, at least stage one ordered anyway. I also got the final two signs 99% complete for the different stations of VBS and made the copies of the doorhangers and registration forms. I got to chat w/mom for a few-mainly me running my mouth telling stories about my life as of late. Since I've been home, I've eaten dinner and organized some and then tried (unsuccessfully) to get my new Treo phone to the status of my former one that bit the dust last week.

Speaking of, I'm telling you folks, last week was just not my week. I'd love to go into details but I'd love to just forget it ever happened even more. Here's a sentence that sums it up for you though:

After getting 4-5 hours of sleep every night, my phone quit working on Wednesday and I had to talk to 2 different AT&T reps before finally getting one that knew what he was doing all the while taking 15 million calls from the bank that gave me my car loan regarding my payment that I didn't get vouchers for until Tuesday, going to TX State Camp Meeting in Weatherford Thursday and cheering on my Pastor as he received his ordained bishop's license and then having an emotional meltdown Friday after driving back from Weatherford at 5am and then working for 2 hours and finally ending up at my Grandmother's after crying for most of the day and ultimately seeing my mother, taking a nap, getting some rest and taking my mom to the airport just in time to make it back for puppet practice that my kids didn't show for and Saturday Saturation during which I kept nursery for part of the time and finally making it home at 11pm after helping Shannon with some nursing stuff and getting myself unloaded, unpacked and completely exhausted in the bed at 1:30am.

Ok, if that sentence made no sense to you, it didn't to me either but oh well. I think I made myself sleepy just typing that mile long run-on sentence so maybe I better sleep. I'll be in better form tomorrow and look forward to writing (more coherently) then. :)

Blessings,
Bethany
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise You more and more.
Psalm 71:14

Utterly exhausted...

***Warning: This is a venting post. If you don't want to hear me whine a little, ok-a lot, read no further. I just need to get a little frustration out.***

I'm tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of not being able to trust people-even my closest friends. I'm tired of getting home late and staying up later to work. I'm tired of drama. I'm tired of all my friends finding love & having kids & me still being single-with absolutely NO prospects. I'm tired of worrying about people I love even though there's nothing I can do. I'm tired of hearing people's problems and carrying the weight of everyone's problems, including my own. I'm tired of people who won't step up and do anything. I'm tired of people who say they'll do stuff and don't. I'm tired of gas prices going up. I'm tired of feeling financially strained. I'm tired of being far away from my family. I'm tired of emotional and mental games. I'm tired of trying to get middle schoolers to listen to me. I'm tired of feeling like I need to sleep for 12 hours just to function. I'm tired of people who think they know everything. I'm tired of followers who ought to be leaders. I'm tired of never feeling like I'm enough. I'm tired of giving 110% for nothing. I'm tired.

Did I mention that I'm tired?

Ok, that's a depressing list but here's the good news. I know that all these things are just temporary. I will feel better. I will have a better perspective on the world probably later today but definitely by the weekend. I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now.

And that's that. Sorry if I depressed you but I guess now you know specifically how to pray. :)
I promise a more uplifting post at some point this week.

Blessings,
Bethany
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise You more and more.
Psalm 71:14

Honestly...

Such was the title of the devotion I shared w/the women at my church's ladies meeting last night. After the past couple weeks completely consumed with VBS prep, Sunday School networking, curriculum research, work training & office stress, & Wednesday night duties, my mind was literally thrown into a frenzy even thinking about speaking to the ladies. What did I have to share w/them? What could I possibly have that would encourage or edify them? Could I even get my mind focused long enough to hear from God???

So I set about Monday to try to capture the heart of God-for Thursday night at least. I was extremely frustrated by Tuesday night when I had made no progress & fear of failure was beginning to set in. Our pastor's wife, who normally leads the meetings, had pretty much left me to my own devices for this one and I knew I had to bring it, for her sake at least. In the wee hours of Wednesday morning, I finally made some progress and got started on some thoughts. And in the wee hours of Thursday morning, I made more progress. Finally, by noon on Thursday, I knew I had caught what God wanted to speak through me so I set to typing & gathering info. By yesterday evening, I had bought decorations and made our tables a plethora of pink & was ready to "do my thing".

What exactly did I speak about??? Well, in a nutshell, it was all about honesty with God. My fabulous mom sent me an article several months ago by a lady who is single and waiting for God to bring her soulmate to her. In her writing, she talks about feeling like a 5th wheel after her 2 best friends got married. She felt overlooked, like God was failing to meet her need/desire for romance. So one day, she "took off her prayer gloves" and got completely honest with God-telling Him that though He said He could meet her every need, she had this great need for romance that wasn't getting met.

That article changed my prayer life. As I shared w/the ladies last night, I've been "saved" my whole life. And I've been taught to pray. But for the majority of the past almost 20 years of my relationship w/God, I've only prayed prayers that I thought God wanted me to pray. You know which ones I'm talking about-with the eloquent words, the promises of God ("I know you're taking care of me"), the truths I wanted to believe. And those prayers, at times, have been sincere & from my heart. But the problem is that most of the time, they were only from part of my heart-not my whole heart. I only prayed w/the part of me that I felt I could trust God with, the part I felt that He wouldn't reject.

But the honesty of the author of that article changed my view of prayer. See, God created me-quirks, OCD tendencies, flaws and all. He knows me-my thoughts, my words, my actions-even before I think of doing them. So if He knows my inner being (Psalm 139), why do I try to hide things from Him?

Case in point:
When I'm tired of hearing about all my friends getting married & having babies, why do my prayers sound like this:
"God, I trust that you're taking care of bringing my soulmate to me. I know that I just have to be patient and wait for Your timing. I trust You and know that when it does happen, it will be Your will."
instead of this:
"God, what is wrong with me? Why do all my heathen friends get to enjoy the sanctity of marriage and I've been pure and devoted to You and Your work and keep getting the shaft when it comes to relationships? This isn't fair & I'm mad at You for not giving me the desires of my heart. I'm tired of thinking I've found Mr. Right, only to find out he only wants to be Mr. Right Now. My eggs are dry rotting here..."
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Now, I know that it doesn't bode well to be mad at God a lot, but I also know that He already knows I'm frustrated and hurting so I may as well just be honest about my emotions. So now, instead of putting on this big, religious show for God when I pray, I talk to Him like I do my mom. I tell Him how angry, hurt, happy, tickled pink, joyful, sorry, sad I feel. I give Him all the gory details of my desires & my dreams. He knows 'em anyway so I guess sometimes, it helps me too just to get it out. I figure I may as well tell Him the truth now than have Him give me a spiritual spanking later. And the thing of it is, now that I am more honest and open with Him, I'm finding that He's a much bigger God than I used to give Him credit for. And regardless of how I feel or what I do or say-He loves me and accepts me not just as I am, but just as I am in Him.

Honestly,
Bethany
My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26

Something to smile about

Yesterday, while I was walking the nature trail, I was chased by not one but TWO wasps. These are not your regular wasps, they are the ultra-persistent ones that dare to get close enough to touch you but don't sting unless you're still for a long enough period of time.

So, if you need a good smile today, imagine me, power walking, then walking and swatting (and yelling) and then running to escape the killer wasps...

(Thank goodness no one was too close behind me to watch my shorts ride up between my fat thighs as this took place.)

Be blessed,
Bethany
My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26

I realized yesterday...

that I haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks and not because I'm busy trying to make my next entry perfect either. Honestly, I simply haven't had 5 free minutes in practically 2 weeks. I can't believe I'm saying that and I so desperately want to be able to say "kidding" or even just know that it's a lie in my head but that is the complete truth.

Here's my fave posting format to let you know what all is going on w/me...

*VBS is in less than 4 weeks. Yes, I am freaking out.
*Drama ministry w/the kids is going well-they love to talk but are making improvements.
*Sunday School is better-they love to talk as well but my material is good.
*Wednesday nights are still out of hand (at church regarding teachers) but that is coming together to be fixed soon.
*I attended my first funeral in Paris last week. Such a sad occasion but such a strong family.
*I've ministered to most everybody at work in some way in the past couple weeks. They need Jesus!
*I attended my first training for commercial insurance in Tyler last week. What a trip but it was pretty fun & I passed my test.
*Mom flies in this weekend-I'm excited to see her. It's always good to have a piece of home close by.
*My Grandmother is not doing well (hence, my mom flying in) so I'm a little worried about her. I think she's just tired though-ready to go home.
*Mom also had a major breakthrough at work this past weekend. PTL!!!
*All kinds of drama broke out at church w/in the past week-Satan is rearing his ugly head but praise God, the enemy is defeated! We are victorious! In the end, WE WIN!
*We're starting Saturday Saturation at church-a service that will focus on just seeking God and His presence. I'm excited but also know I better get myself together before they start or I will fall apart.
*I'm meeting a guy Pastor wants to introduce me to next week at camp meeting. I'm excited but more excited for Pastor b/c he's getting his ordained bishop's license.
*I'm speaking at our church's ladies' mtg Thursday-should be interesting.
*Our worship team at church is starting to have practices so we can learn new material. Pastor's also wanting to start an ensemble so I'm sure that will be an adventure.
*I stay tired-a lot. I don't think I can fully de-stress or sleep well b/c of all the things my mind is constantly thinking about. Gotta work on letting go & making me time.
*I did make me time Saturday at the Paris pool. Let's suffice it to say, I could now be the hot magenta crayon in the Crayola box. :) Ah well, live & learn.

That's all I've got time for now. More later...sometime...when I can breathe...

Be blessed!

~B
My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26