A couple weeks ago, I took a late lunch as I was acting as receptionist at my office for the day since our regular had a sick kid. As I ate my pb & j and chips and salsa, I flipped on the TV and found Rachel Ray's show was on. Granted, I am not a huge Rachel Ray fan but she was my best option at that time of day and one of her guests was Bob Greene, whose "Best Life" diet has skyrocketed to the top of the diet and fitness scene in recent months.
As Rachel interviewed Bob, they were talking about dieting, eating right, exercise and during the interview Bob made 2 statements similar to these:
1. The barrier between women and losing weight is often that they don't feel they deserve the best for themselves.
2. Being overweight is just a symptom of another area in a person's life that is lacking.
Bob, I couldn't agree more. All my life, I have observed the various women in my life (including myself) work hard and sacrifice for others yet when they needed something or felt pressured, it was their own health or mental well-being that was sacrificed. Not that men don't, but I've seen more women who feel obligatory duties and in the process lose sight of taking care of themselves. I've done the same in recent years past.
I make decisions, choose activities, knowing I don't have near enough time to get everything done and won't be able to be effective at everything. I also know I won't have any quality time for myself unless you count grabbing a pb&j for lunch and bowl of cereal for dinner as I race from work to appointment to activity to church to fall into the bed exhausted every night.
But God is changing my mind. In the past few months, I've begun to realize and be more confident in one very important fact that has changed the way I see myself and my life. That fact?
I DESERVE IT.
I deserve to say 'no' to the numerous requests for my time. I deserve scheduling 'Me' time into my busy days. I deserve the chance to assert myself and my positive qualities as I search for jobs. I deserve to take time for the people I love. I deserve to work at a job that I enjoy, not just the 1st one that comes along or pays the best. I deserve to be treated respectfully. But most of all, I deserve to treat myself as good as I treat others.
(Not to seem egotistical but...) It's a well-known fact that I will do everything within my power to help anyone I possibly can-running errands, taking care of kids, planning events, making phone calls, organizing, listening, working for, etc. But I do very little of those same things for myself. Thankfully, that's been made crystal clear in the past few months and as I embark on a new stage of my life, I am better equipped to balance my life more equally.
But the most important reason that I believe I deserve it (whatever 'it' is), is that I believe God created us to enjoy this life. And while helping our fellow mankind is of utmost importance as part of my Christian walk, nowhere in the Bible does it say to totally neglect yourself and be miserable trying to do everything for everybody else. My thought is that if I will take care of myself, I will be more capable of helping others.
So for all you women out there who work long hours, devote unlimited time to others, and sacrifice your desires for everyone else in your life, YOU DESERVE THE VERY BEST! And YOU are the only person who's going to take up for you! Take the time to do things you enjoy, things that are totally out of the norm, and even things that you never thought you'd want to do. You deserve to be good to yourself and remember: You deserve it!
Blessings,
B
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Good Ol' USofA
I've been absent for a week even though it doesn't feel like that long. What a whirlwind life is lately with traveling every weekend and weekdays being absorbed by church work, wedding planning, personal "stuff" and trying to get back into regular workouts. And seriously, you would not believe the latest office happenings.
A quick example:
With the inauguration of President Obama today, much of the office chat revolved around politics. At one point this afternoon, our receptionist "Okie Dokie girl", asked JB, the girl I work next to, and myself what the first words to "The Star-Spangled Banner" were. She and I both responded "O say can you see" only to be countered with a "No it's not" from OD girl. "That's what everyone thinks but it's really "Jose can you see"". She replied that during a discussion with her 12 year old son last night, he told her that his choir teacher had taught his choir class that most people believe the opening words to the famous patriotic song are "O say can you see" but they are really confused because it actually starts "Jose can you see"-you just gotta put the "huuuh" at the beginning. And so, since all 12 year olds are the authority on staples of patriotic music, she believed him.
I tell you, I work with brain surgeons. (Do you sense the extreme sarcasm?)
And speaking of patriotism, what a day for Americans! Though I may not agree with every position he takes or every view he supports, President Obama made history today and I could not be prouder to be an American. So much is criticized within our country but I don't believe anyone could dispute the fact that today, we came together and changed our world for the better. The acceptance and promotion of an African-American in the White House speaks volumes about the true change that is taking place in our land. To think that just 55 years ago, or country was still a place of segregation but now the 1st (partial) African-American has taken over the office of Commander-In-Chief of that same country is astounding. But I am so glad that my fellow citizens have seen fit to judge a man not by the color of his skin but by what they see in his heart. And that makes me proud to be an American.
Unfortunately, that's all for this post. Updates will follow soon but until then, God bless the USA and give President Obama the grace and wisdom to lead our country in the will of God.
Blessings,
B
Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Romans 13:1
A quick example:
With the inauguration of President Obama today, much of the office chat revolved around politics. At one point this afternoon, our receptionist "Okie Dokie girl", asked JB, the girl I work next to, and myself what the first words to "The Star-Spangled Banner" were. She and I both responded "O say can you see" only to be countered with a "No it's not" from OD girl. "That's what everyone thinks but it's really "Jose can you see"". She replied that during a discussion with her 12 year old son last night, he told her that his choir teacher had taught his choir class that most people believe the opening words to the famous patriotic song are "O say can you see" but they are really confused because it actually starts "Jose can you see"-you just gotta put the "huuuh" at the beginning. And so, since all 12 year olds are the authority on staples of patriotic music, she believed him.
I tell you, I work with brain surgeons. (Do you sense the extreme sarcasm?)
And speaking of patriotism, what a day for Americans! Though I may not agree with every position he takes or every view he supports, President Obama made history today and I could not be prouder to be an American. So much is criticized within our country but I don't believe anyone could dispute the fact that today, we came together and changed our world for the better. The acceptance and promotion of an African-American in the White House speaks volumes about the true change that is taking place in our land. To think that just 55 years ago, or country was still a place of segregation but now the 1st (partial) African-American has taken over the office of Commander-In-Chief of that same country is astounding. But I am so glad that my fellow citizens have seen fit to judge a man not by the color of his skin but by what they see in his heart. And that makes me proud to be an American.
Unfortunately, that's all for this post. Updates will follow soon but until then, God bless the USA and give President Obama the grace and wisdom to lead our country in the will of God.
Blessings,
B
Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Romans 13:1
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Judge Not
Late last week, I was browsing Facebook and was FB stalking (yes, I am one of those people) some people I know from my former life in TN when I had a sudden thought:
How often have I allowed other people's opinions influence my perception of people?
That may not be earth-shattering for you but it definitely was for me. In the not too distant past (i.e. my last couple years of college), I made close friends with some ministry mentors. We bonded quickly over our passion for ministry but also our ability to have fun. I fell in love with their kids and found myself spending A LOT of time with these friends. They challenged me in ministry, offered consolation and comfort in times of need and we always laughed together. Even though I knew I was being somewhat of a doormat by being at their beck-and-call all of the time and taking care of their kids sooo much, I was faithful and convinced myself that it would all even out in the end.
Normally, such a relationship would be appreciated. And it was. For a time. But during the course of the friendship, I allowed myself to be subjected to some harsh opinions and perceptions from said friends. And even though I picked up on it, I was brain-washed, in a sense, into believing that such thoughts were validated and justified.
But now that that friendship has ended (on some fairly bad terms), I have realized that I developed some negative character traits during the time I invested in them. And I'm determined to change them. See, during our 4 year friendship, I often listened to their thoughts, opinions, and perceptions about other people and things and then adopted those as my own thoughts, opinions and perceptions without giving them a chance and trying them for myself. In realizing this, I have also seen that I missed out on getting to know some pretty great people and trying some new stuff that could have really impacted my life. This makes me sad because I think-well, I know-that I've been rude to and not included people in my life that I should have. I've not allowed people in that could have had a positive influence on me and been good friends. I've not done things because I was too busy pouring my life into someone else's, someone who didn't care about my best interests 100%. Thankfully, I chose not to listen to them when I first met Z because look what I would have missed out on!
And honestly? I'm very ashamed of all this. I'm ashamed that I listened so intently to them and not enough to the One who knows exactly what I need and will fill every void in my life. I'm ashamed I treated others with such contempt instead of loving them and treating them with the respect and love of Christ. I'm ashamed that I hung on so tightly to the words of mere humans instead of clinging to the Word of the Almighty who is omniscient. And most of all, I'm ashamed that I let my Father down so much by being more infatuated with other people than with Him.
But thank You, Lord for 2nd chances.
I guess this post is more for myself than anyone else but I wanted to let it be known that I'm doing more exploration and attempting more new things in my life now. I'm getting to know more strangers, especially people I wouldn't normally be friends with. I'm making more evaluations of people and things and foods and activities based on my experiences. I'm going out on quite a few more limbs and I can't wait to see how much more full my life becomes!
Blessings,
B
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2
How often have I allowed other people's opinions influence my perception of people?
That may not be earth-shattering for you but it definitely was for me. In the not too distant past (i.e. my last couple years of college), I made close friends with some ministry mentors. We bonded quickly over our passion for ministry but also our ability to have fun. I fell in love with their kids and found myself spending A LOT of time with these friends. They challenged me in ministry, offered consolation and comfort in times of need and we always laughed together. Even though I knew I was being somewhat of a doormat by being at their beck-and-call all of the time and taking care of their kids sooo much, I was faithful and convinced myself that it would all even out in the end.
Normally, such a relationship would be appreciated. And it was. For a time. But during the course of the friendship, I allowed myself to be subjected to some harsh opinions and perceptions from said friends. And even though I picked up on it, I was brain-washed, in a sense, into believing that such thoughts were validated and justified.
But now that that friendship has ended (on some fairly bad terms), I have realized that I developed some negative character traits during the time I invested in them. And I'm determined to change them. See, during our 4 year friendship, I often listened to their thoughts, opinions, and perceptions about other people and things and then adopted those as my own thoughts, opinions and perceptions without giving them a chance and trying them for myself. In realizing this, I have also seen that I missed out on getting to know some pretty great people and trying some new stuff that could have really impacted my life. This makes me sad because I think-well, I know-that I've been rude to and not included people in my life that I should have. I've not allowed people in that could have had a positive influence on me and been good friends. I've not done things because I was too busy pouring my life into someone else's, someone who didn't care about my best interests 100%. Thankfully, I chose not to listen to them when I first met Z because look what I would have missed out on!
And honestly? I'm very ashamed of all this. I'm ashamed that I listened so intently to them and not enough to the One who knows exactly what I need and will fill every void in my life. I'm ashamed I treated others with such contempt instead of loving them and treating them with the respect and love of Christ. I'm ashamed that I hung on so tightly to the words of mere humans instead of clinging to the Word of the Almighty who is omniscient. And most of all, I'm ashamed that I let my Father down so much by being more infatuated with other people than with Him.
But thank You, Lord for 2nd chances.
I guess this post is more for myself than anyone else but I wanted to let it be known that I'm doing more exploration and attempting more new things in my life now. I'm getting to know more strangers, especially people I wouldn't normally be friends with. I'm making more evaluations of people and things and foods and activities based on my experiences. I'm going out on quite a few more limbs and I can't wait to see how much more full my life becomes!
Blessings,
B
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2
A Footnote...
As a footnote to my previous post, I'd like to note that I do not think that all Wal-Mart employees are mindless. In fact, I am generally very appreciative of them in that I do not know how they are able to work in such chaotic conditions with some very demanding customers and not lose their cool. Anyway, I just wanted to clarify that I have the utmost respect for Wal-Mart employees, I just happened to have very little patience with that particular lady that night. Believe me, I'm well aware that all jobs and workers are important in order for our gigantic world to turn smoothly so thanks to those who make my little piece of it turn!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Funny Things
Randomly thought I'd share some funny anecdotes that have happened as of late...
~Yesterday morning on the way to work, as I was pulling off my street onto the main road, I saw one of these:
pecking away in my neighbor's yard. And I did laugh out loud. Only in Texas.
~Also yesterday, the receptionist at my office greeted a Hispanic customer and asked who he needed to see. He replied that he was there to see Matt, one of our producers, to which she replied, "What is your name?". Apparently, his Spanish was too fast for her as she told Matt that Manye Jose was there to see him when he actually said, "My name is Jose." Yes, I laughed out loud again.
~Poultry is a common theme of this post, for whatever reason, because today, while training a girl at work for my old job, she told me and another co-worker about a little chapel built by the Chicken King that is Pilgrim's Pride in Pittsburg, TX. She claims it is a 'really pretty place' even though it is smaller than our back office area so we lovingly nicknamed it the 'Chicken Chapel' where you can go reflect on...well...chickens.
~A quote from a co-worker when discussing the experience she had falling on her head while dancing with a homemade stripper pole made from PVC pipe: "It worked the first couple times." (I told you I work with heathens.)
~Another quote from the receptionist. She had just taken a message for our owner, who keeps a very busy schedule as former mayor and member of many community groups. The caller made the comment that trying to get ahold of him was like trying to get ahold of God-he's never there. To which I replied that that was the perfect opportunity for her to witness to that man by sharing of God's omnipresence so that she could get another jewel in her crown. Her response? "Girl, I ain't got no crown. Them jewels done fell out a long time ago." I do a lot of praying for these people.
~One of our customers at the insurance agency I work for filed a claim that he "somehow ran up on a 4 foot curb". Really? I mean really? And another filed a claim that she "hit a cow". Folks, you can't make this stuff up. Only in Texas...
~This last one is a bit long but it caused such a disruption in my little world that I have to share it. Last Thursday, at the end of my monthly grocery + everything-else-that-I-randomly-need-or-don't-need shopping, I walked to the checkout, proud that I had remembered to bring in some old bags so I wouldn't have to take even more home to add to my already overflowing stash of plastic grocery bags that numbers in the thousands. Anyway, with no one behind me, I told the elderly cashier of my plan to use the old bags and this was the conversation that ensued-as she continued to check my groceries:
Her: Well, I'd really rather use new ones. Because if I used yours I'd..." (with no justifiable reason.
Me: Oh. Well, ok. I was just trying to keep from having to take home a bunch of plastic bags when I already have way too many. Just trying to do my part to help the environment.
Her: Well, I just don't think we do that. It's against our code. Since somebody might be allergic to your bags. You know they make you get a new plate for each trip at a buffet restaurant andsince Wal-Mart is comparable to Golden Corral, I just don't think that's possible.
Me: Well, that's fine. I'll just take home more bags.
Her: You know, you could check with a manager and see about recycling your bags. I know we have a place where you can do that in the break room and I think there's another one somewhere. Or you could ask the people at the door if there's one. Oh wait, let me ask this girl. (She proceeds to ask another checker about the bag recycling drop-off and other checker states it is just outside the 1st door.)
Her: So you can drop your bags off there. But I suppose it would make sense for you to be able to reuse your own bags. I mean, if you're just using your bags that's not a big deal right? But we wouldn't want anyone else to use them.
Me: That's what I want to do-just use my own bags.
Her: Well, I guess next time I could do that. It makes sense and it's good that you're trying to help the environment. Oh look, I gave you two bags for your ice creambecause for some reason, four layers of plastic keeps things colder longer than just two.
Me: (After paying and trying to start pushing my cart towards the door) (Exasperated) That's fine. Thank you very much. Have a good night.
So by the end of the conversation, she had convinced herself that it would be ok for people to reuse their own plastic bags as long as the sharing of bags never took place. The intelligence of some people astounds me sometimes. I was so aggravated by the time I got home and then on top of all that, she basically put every item I purchased in a different bag so I ended up with such a surplus of bags that I could wallpaper my entire house. Anyway, lesson learned. Just let the Wal-Mart checkers do their job-at least the elderly ones anyway-without any interference.
I hope you've gotten a laugh or two from these stories. You really should walk a day in my high heels-you'd be surprised at the craziness that occurs here in Tiny Town, Texas.
Blessings,
B
P.S. And for the record, I do believe the Lord laughed with me on most of these-even The Big Man can't deny funny.
~Yesterday morning on the way to work, as I was pulling off my street onto the main road, I saw one of these:
pecking away in my neighbor's yard. And I did laugh out loud. Only in Texas.~Also yesterday, the receptionist at my office greeted a Hispanic customer and asked who he needed to see. He replied that he was there to see Matt, one of our producers, to which she replied, "What is your name?". Apparently, his Spanish was too fast for her as she told Matt that Manye Jose was there to see him when he actually said, "My name is Jose." Yes, I laughed out loud again.
~Poultry is a common theme of this post, for whatever reason, because today, while training a girl at work for my old job, she told me and another co-worker about a little chapel built by the Chicken King that is Pilgrim's Pride in Pittsburg, TX. She claims it is a 'really pretty place' even though it is smaller than our back office area so we lovingly nicknamed it the 'Chicken Chapel' where you can go reflect on...well...chickens.
~A quote from a co-worker when discussing the experience she had falling on her head while dancing with a homemade stripper pole made from PVC pipe: "It worked the first couple times." (I told you I work with heathens.)
~Another quote from the receptionist. She had just taken a message for our owner, who keeps a very busy schedule as former mayor and member of many community groups. The caller made the comment that trying to get ahold of him was like trying to get ahold of God-he's never there. To which I replied that that was the perfect opportunity for her to witness to that man by sharing of God's omnipresence so that she could get another jewel in her crown. Her response? "Girl, I ain't got no crown. Them jewels done fell out a long time ago." I do a lot of praying for these people.
~One of our customers at the insurance agency I work for filed a claim that he "somehow ran up on a 4 foot curb". Really? I mean really? And another filed a claim that she "hit a cow". Folks, you can't make this stuff up. Only in Texas...
~This last one is a bit long but it caused such a disruption in my little world that I have to share it. Last Thursday, at the end of my monthly grocery + everything-else-that-I-randomly-need-or-don't-need shopping, I walked to the checkout, proud that I had remembered to bring in some old bags so I wouldn't have to take even more home to add to my already overflowing stash of plastic grocery bags that numbers in the thousands. Anyway, with no one behind me, I told the elderly cashier of my plan to use the old bags and this was the conversation that ensued-as she continued to check my groceries:
Her: Well, I'd really rather use new ones. Because if I used yours I'd..." (with no justifiable reason.
Me: Oh. Well, ok. I was just trying to keep from having to take home a bunch of plastic bags when I already have way too many. Just trying to do my part to help the environment.
Her: Well, I just don't think we do that. It's against our code. Since somebody might be allergic to your bags. You know they make you get a new plate for each trip at a buffet restaurant and
Me: Well, that's fine. I'll just take home more bags.
Her: You know, you could check with a manager and see about recycling your bags. I know we have a place where you can do that in the break room and I think there's another one somewhere. Or you could ask the people at the door if there's one. Oh wait, let me ask this girl. (She proceeds to ask another checker about the bag recycling drop-off and other checker states it is just outside the 1st door.)
Her: So you can drop your bags off there. But I suppose it would make sense for you to be able to reuse your own bags. I mean, if you're just using your bags that's not a big deal right? But we wouldn't want anyone else to use them.
Me: That's what I want to do-just use my own bags.
Her: Well, I guess next time I could do that. It makes sense and it's good that you're trying to help the environment. Oh look, I gave you two bags for your ice cream
Me: (After paying and trying to start pushing my cart towards the door) (Exasperated) That's fine. Thank you very much. Have a good night.
So by the end of the conversation, she had convinced herself that it would be ok for people to reuse their own plastic bags as long as the sharing of bags never took place. The intelligence of some people astounds me sometimes. I was so aggravated by the time I got home and then on top of all that, she basically put every item I purchased in a different bag so I ended up with such a surplus of bags that I could wallpaper my entire house. Anyway, lesson learned. Just let the Wal-Mart checkers do their job-at least the elderly ones anyway-without any interference.
I hope you've gotten a laugh or two from these stories. You really should walk a day in my high heels-you'd be surprised at the craziness that occurs here in Tiny Town, Texas.
Blessings,
B
P.S. And for the record, I do believe the Lord laughed with me on most of these-even The Big Man can't deny funny.
Z
A quick post before I try to find sleep...for the 2nd time tonight. The 1st time was no prob since I was on the couch & had just eaten. I definitely accidentally slept for 2 hours. Seriously, I MUST stop the evening naps.
Anyway, I just wanted to share how proud I am of Z. The past 6 months have been a whirlwind ride for us both and I never thought we'd be where we are today both geographically and relationally but I'm really glad we are. We've both seen hard times in those 6 months but we've seen each other through them and are both stronger for them. And now we're on the precipice of a brand new chapter in both of our lives, an important one for our life together and even though I'm scared, there is peace that passes understanding.
This new step has been in the making for months now-from the engagement to applying for positions to talking with pastors to traveling for interviews to being vulnerable with people and the Lord to LOTS of prayer time to stepping out in faith and accepting the call. And I can honestly say that I've had little to nothing to do with this whole process. I just showed up when I needed to and said prayers of faith that God would work it out. Of course, we sought His will and felt a certain connection with the people and church in Tyler so it wasn't such a hard decision to make but it was still a giant step of faith and true test of our commitment to each other and to follow Him wherever He leads.
But Z has been more than wonderful throughout the whole ordeal. He made the e-mails and phone calls to speak with pastors. He put himself out there for others to critique and question. He considered the pros and cons of each church we applied for. He recognized the sacrifices required yet still proceeded and answered 'yes' when the call came. And I know that even though the timing was right for him to break away from his family and start blazing his own trail, a lot of the reason he even ventured to seek a position was for me, to prepare for our future and secure us a place in ministry.
Looking back, I see God's hand working throughout this step in the journey (as I always do) but this time, I'm looking back on a step in the journey of my future husband's faith. He has willingly laid down his desires and comfort zone to do what he knew God was calling him to and what was best for others that would be affected, namely me. He is such a self-sacrificing young man and his attentiveness to me astounds me every day. There has never been a time that he hasn't asked my feelings or recognized a change in my attitude when something is wrong. And there has also never been a time when he didn't do everything in his power to reassure me, comfort me, and allow me to lean on him-even in his times of doubt or concern.
Though I may be biased, I believe God created the best man in the world for me to marry and share my life and love with. He is more than I dreamed I would ever have in a husband and I'm reminded daily that I am blessed beyond measure to have an intelligent, moral, funny, charming, handsome, adorable, hard working, GODLY future husband. And although hard times are inevitable (especially in ministry), I am certain that he and I are destined to spend the rest of this life together as we hold hands with our Father as He leads the way.
Z, I love you and respect you as a man of God and the love of my life. Your sacrifice is great but your reward will be greater. You are God's chosen servant and I am privileged to share my life with you. My love for you is eternal and unconditional. I look forward to the memories we will make and the impact we will have on our world. You have my heart forever.
Blessings,
B
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Song of Solomon 2:7b
Anyway, I just wanted to share how proud I am of Z. The past 6 months have been a whirlwind ride for us both and I never thought we'd be where we are today both geographically and relationally but I'm really glad we are. We've both seen hard times in those 6 months but we've seen each other through them and are both stronger for them. And now we're on the precipice of a brand new chapter in both of our lives, an important one for our life together and even though I'm scared, there is peace that passes understanding.
This new step has been in the making for months now-from the engagement to applying for positions to talking with pastors to traveling for interviews to being vulnerable with people and the Lord to LOTS of prayer time to stepping out in faith and accepting the call. And I can honestly say that I've had little to nothing to do with this whole process. I just showed up when I needed to and said prayers of faith that God would work it out. Of course, we sought His will and felt a certain connection with the people and church in Tyler so it wasn't such a hard decision to make but it was still a giant step of faith and true test of our commitment to each other and to follow Him wherever He leads.
But Z has been more than wonderful throughout the whole ordeal. He made the e-mails and phone calls to speak with pastors. He put himself out there for others to critique and question. He considered the pros and cons of each church we applied for. He recognized the sacrifices required yet still proceeded and answered 'yes' when the call came. And I know that even though the timing was right for him to break away from his family and start blazing his own trail, a lot of the reason he even ventured to seek a position was for me, to prepare for our future and secure us a place in ministry.
Looking back, I see God's hand working throughout this step in the journey (as I always do) but this time, I'm looking back on a step in the journey of my future husband's faith. He has willingly laid down his desires and comfort zone to do what he knew God was calling him to and what was best for others that would be affected, namely me. He is such a self-sacrificing young man and his attentiveness to me astounds me every day. There has never been a time that he hasn't asked my feelings or recognized a change in my attitude when something is wrong. And there has also never been a time when he didn't do everything in his power to reassure me, comfort me, and allow me to lean on him-even in his times of doubt or concern.
Though I may be biased, I believe God created the best man in the world for me to marry and share my life and love with. He is more than I dreamed I would ever have in a husband and I'm reminded daily that I am blessed beyond measure to have an intelligent, moral, funny, charming, handsome, adorable, hard working, GODLY future husband. And although hard times are inevitable (especially in ministry), I am certain that he and I are destined to spend the rest of this life together as we hold hands with our Father as He leads the way.
Z, I love you and respect you as a man of God and the love of my life. Your sacrifice is great but your reward will be greater. You are God's chosen servant and I am privileged to share my life with you. My love for you is eternal and unconditional. I look forward to the memories we will make and the impact we will have on our world. You have my heart forever.
Blessings,
B
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Song of Solomon 2:7b
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Does that make me crazy? Probably.
(Thanks Gnarls Barkley, for the blog title.)
Just when I thought things would settle down somewhat, they get intensely busier.
In a matter of 12 hours my job went on the total chaos track, wedding planning has me COMPLETELY freaked out, and church work has officially invaded and dominated every other thought I've had today. Talk about driving somebody crazy.
Today has just been a hectic day and I know that things will improve once I am gainfully employed in Tyler. I do have a phone screening set up for tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. I am just anxious to get moved and settled.
As I sat in my office manager's office just chatting about the next step for me and for the agency, I had a slap in the face thanks to my very own life. Coming to Paris has been a literal rollercoaster for me. When I first arrived, things were slow and steady. They eventually picked up until they were at full blast 24/7 it seemed, and now they have calmed back down (if only momentarily). But with all the things I've experienced-the spiritual mountaintops that made me feel invincible, the heartbreak I thought I'd never recover from, the joy that I shared with everyone I knew, the tears I cried alone some nights-all of those have helped mold me into the confident woman that I am today.
The relationship I was in when I moved here allowed me to see what I need in a man, what I desire and, in turn what I don't need-which is equally important. I learned to never settle for a man who is less than what I deserve-and I most definitely am not. He also taught me that though I may be intimidating to some, that is my confidence and self-assuredness that I automatically emit even when I am scared to death. And all of those things are ok. The time spent with that young man was worth it. I pray God's blessings on him as he seeks to find his destiny. As always, God had His best for me and that relationship was just part of the journey.
The job I have worked for the past 15 months has shown me that good can come from all situations-even a *seemingly* dead-end job. It may not have been a field I know or care about and I may have had to work with some 'interesting' characters while I've been there, but God has used me and I am confident of that. Without sounding haughty, my co-workers have needed to be reminded of the grace of God and the unconditional love He bestows even if they haven't fully accepted it. If nothing else, they needed the smiling face and positive attitude I've attempted to have while being there. And it's done them some good to see a person who can get along with everyone and not participate in office politics that they tire themselves on daily. Not to mention that I've learned more about insurance than I ever thought I'd know which will serve me very well in the future.
One of the most important lessons I've learned is that times of solitude are often when God can till the garden of my heart and then plant and cultivate His ultimate plan for my life. Has my time in Paris been a walk in the park? Not by any means. But had I not come here, I would have never slowed down enough to turn down the noise of my busy life and listen to His still, small voice gently calling me to ministry. Sure, I knew I wanted to be in ministry but I would have never anticipated the opportunity of being so intensely involved. And that involvement led me to be assured that as I lean on Him to Pilot my life, He will make me far more successful and satisfied than my own schemes would have been. Paris will forever be my launching pad for the ministry and even with the heartache this town has seen me through, I will always remember it fondly and be grateful for the opportunity to have served here.
But with this new year, I am on to new and different opportunities. I don't believe places can ever be adequately compared as each church and ministry is its own. But as Paris held great experiences and opportunities, Tyler holds even more. And I can't wait to embark on that leg of my journey!
Blessings,
B
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Just when I thought things would settle down somewhat, they get intensely busier.
In a matter of 12 hours my job went on the total chaos track, wedding planning has me COMPLETELY freaked out, and church work has officially invaded and dominated every other thought I've had today. Talk about driving somebody crazy.
Today has just been a hectic day and I know that things will improve once I am gainfully employed in Tyler. I do have a phone screening set up for tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. I am just anxious to get moved and settled.
As I sat in my office manager's office just chatting about the next step for me and for the agency, I had a slap in the face thanks to my very own life. Coming to Paris has been a literal rollercoaster for me. When I first arrived, things were slow and steady. They eventually picked up until they were at full blast 24/7 it seemed, and now they have calmed back down (if only momentarily). But with all the things I've experienced-the spiritual mountaintops that made me feel invincible, the heartbreak I thought I'd never recover from, the joy that I shared with everyone I knew, the tears I cried alone some nights-all of those have helped mold me into the confident woman that I am today.
The relationship I was in when I moved here allowed me to see what I need in a man, what I desire and, in turn what I don't need-which is equally important. I learned to never settle for a man who is less than what I deserve-and I most definitely am not. He also taught me that though I may be intimidating to some, that is my confidence and self-assuredness that I automatically emit even when I am scared to death. And all of those things are ok. The time spent with that young man was worth it. I pray God's blessings on him as he seeks to find his destiny. As always, God had His best for me and that relationship was just part of the journey.
The job I have worked for the past 15 months has shown me that good can come from all situations-even a *seemingly* dead-end job. It may not have been a field I know or care about and I may have had to work with some 'interesting' characters while I've been there, but God has used me and I am confident of that. Without sounding haughty, my co-workers have needed to be reminded of the grace of God and the unconditional love He bestows even if they haven't fully accepted it. If nothing else, they needed the smiling face and positive attitude I've attempted to have while being there. And it's done them some good to see a person who can get along with everyone and not participate in office politics that they tire themselves on daily. Not to mention that I've learned more about insurance than I ever thought I'd know which will serve me very well in the future.
One of the most important lessons I've learned is that times of solitude are often when God can till the garden of my heart and then plant and cultivate His ultimate plan for my life. Has my time in Paris been a walk in the park? Not by any means. But had I not come here, I would have never slowed down enough to turn down the noise of my busy life and listen to His still, small voice gently calling me to ministry. Sure, I knew I wanted to be in ministry but I would have never anticipated the opportunity of being so intensely involved. And that involvement led me to be assured that as I lean on Him to Pilot my life, He will make me far more successful and satisfied than my own schemes would have been. Paris will forever be my launching pad for the ministry and even with the heartache this town has seen me through, I will always remember it fondly and be grateful for the opportunity to have served here.
But with this new year, I am on to new and different opportunities. I don't believe places can ever be adequately compared as each church and ministry is its own. But as Paris held great experiences and opportunities, Tyler holds even more. And I can't wait to embark on that leg of my journey!
Blessings,
B
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Monday, January 5, 2009
1 Year Old
Unbeknownst to me, my blog officially celebrated it's 1 year anniversary yesterday. Sooo...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. BLOG!
I honestly can't believe it's been a year since I wrote my 1st blog but when I read back over it just now, it's amazing how different my life is.
Last year at this time, I wrote about how I was going to take my life by the proverbial horns and live it. I still feel that way today but find myself with a companion to take the ride with me.
I'm still passionate about all the things I was passionate about then but a few have been added to the mix.
I still have big dreams and I think they may have expanded some.
A year ago, I was reeling from a bad breakup that I thought would be the end of love for me for quite a while. Today, I'm engaged to my soulmate.
Last January, I thought I was going to make my mark in the big town of Paris, Texas. I've done what I could and am now moving on to another place that needs a little of my 'class & sass'.
I still love life, adore my family and friends, and long to help all the hurting people of this world. And over the past year, I've touched some of those people here in Tiny Town, TX and now find myself moving on to help more people in more places.
I've seen extreme highs and lows spiritually but have never lost ground. I may have taken a few steps back but I can honestly say that I am much farther in my walk with Jesus than I was last year. And I feel myself gaining ground every day.
So, happy birthday, Mr. Blog! And thanksto all of you readers Mom & Dad for continuing to read & keep up with me and my little, minute life. Here's wishing 2008 bon voyage and welcoming 2009 with its new beginning!
Blessings,
B
*****Edited to add:
Apparently, I also reached 1,000 visitors sometime in the last 24 hours. That's quite a bit of traffic for this small town girl! Thanks Mom & Dad for checking my blog from so many countries so many times so I could reach such a big number!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. BLOG!
I honestly can't believe it's been a year since I wrote my 1st blog but when I read back over it just now, it's amazing how different my life is.
Last year at this time, I wrote about how I was going to take my life by the proverbial horns and live it. I still feel that way today but find myself with a companion to take the ride with me.
I'm still passionate about all the things I was passionate about then but a few have been added to the mix.
I still have big dreams and I think they may have expanded some.
A year ago, I was reeling from a bad breakup that I thought would be the end of love for me for quite a while. Today, I'm engaged to my soulmate.
Last January, I thought I was going to make my mark in the big town of Paris, Texas. I've done what I could and am now moving on to another place that needs a little of my 'class & sass'.
I still love life, adore my family and friends, and long to help all the hurting people of this world. And over the past year, I've touched some of those people here in Tiny Town, TX and now find myself moving on to help more people in more places.
I've seen extreme highs and lows spiritually but have never lost ground. I may have taken a few steps back but I can honestly say that I am much farther in my walk with Jesus than I was last year. And I feel myself gaining ground every day.
So, happy birthday, Mr. Blog! And thanks
Blessings,
B
*****Edited to add:
Apparently, I also reached 1,000 visitors sometime in the last 24 hours. That's quite a bit of traffic for this small town girl! Thanks Mom & Dad for checking my blog from so many countries so many times so I could reach such a big number!
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