February, How I Love Thee

It's the evening of the 1st day of one of my favorite months and right now, I'm just thankful I survived it. With all 3 admins gone to an out of town meeting, I am lucky to be alive. 3 MIA admins+240 sad-the-wkend-is-over kids=1 very crazed/drained school secretary. Overall, it was a good day (I've def had worse) and I still love my job. Here is my day in numbers:

22 - the # of kids who needed the nurse (me)
3 - the # of kids who got sent to the principal's office
137,592 - the # of phone calls I answered (at least it felt like it)
5 - the # of people I told about our new school and what we offer
25 - the # of teachers who asked me for something
17 - the # of things I had on my desk at 3pm and had to clear off by 4
0 - the # of breaks I took today
1 - the # of corndogs I ate for lunch (Can I get an amen for corndog day?)
11 - the # of people who tried to 'help' me do my job
8 - the # of times I walked the entire school looking for someone/something
0 - the # of times I'd trade my job to go back to insurance (or most any other profession)

So like I said, all in all I had a decent day.

The weekend turned out quite interesting since Z and I stole away to Lakeview for a few hours. We made it a nice overnight date and minus the bruise on my hip that's bigger than my hand (which I'll spare your eyes from viewing), it was a good getaway.

Side story: I had a little slip up in the shower at the camp grounds Saturday morning that left the aforementioned bruise. Z had gone to his morning meeting and I was getting ready in the cabin (which turned out to be a nice 2 bed/2 bath house). Let's just say that soft water and a tub with no tread on the bottom do not like me, standing on 1 leg getting ready to shave. As soon as I hit the floor of the shower and realized what had happened, I repeated to myself over and over (out loud) "You're ok, you're ok, you're ok". Sometimes you just need to give yourself a little pep talk. So I assessed the situation and came to these conclusions:

1. I had hit my head but was not going to pass out. I willed myself not to pass out because I most certainly was not going to have a camp staffer see the cabin leaking water out of every crevice and find me laying naked in a tub full of water.

2. I had 2 choices, I could either lay there (like I remember from all those Lifetime movies I've watched) and let said staffer find my dead, naked body or I could get myself up and get the shower curtain that I pulled down re-hung and get it together.

I chose the latter. And while my body was definitely not happy about having moved in such a way that it was so unfamiliar with, I am glad I chose to salvage my pride. I didn't have a bruise until about 5 hours later (so I couldn't even prove to Z that I really had fallen until much later) but boy, did it appear when it finally found the surface of my skin. Yes, I am still sore and yes, this bruise will inevitably last until October but by golly, I still have my pride. That is, until the hundreds of you my mother reads this and tells all my friends to check my blog.

Nonetheless, February is one of my favorite months for many reasons.

1. Most years, it has 28 days which means there are 4 perfect weeks and that means the days & dates for February match the days & dates for March.
2. The years it has 29 days just make it that much cooler because what other month gets to add an extra day to itself?
3. My favorite holiday is in February. Valentine's day has always been of utmost importance to me ever since my infatuation with hot pink and royal purple began at the age of 4. I love love and I love sharing gifts of love. Hearts are definitely my thing and I like to think that I can celebrate Valentine's day all month long.
4. Have you seen the cute stuff you can buy at Target & Walmart for V-day? Especially if you wait until February 15th.
5. There is an endless chasm full of heart-shaped things to make at home and I LOVE browsing those options.

As you can tell, February is a favorite month of mine. And this February is one of the best since my family is coming to visit. My Grandmother is turning 90 on February 16th and my mom is throwing a little shindig for her and so the fam is all getting together. Side note: this is my grandmother who picked up her new eyeglasses and then directly went and renewed her driver's license. Watch out. But it will be a fun celebration and I look forward to seeing everyone.

That's all for today, folks. I'm heading to finish some wifely duties and get my tired self in bed. Blessings to you all for a terrific Tuesday!

~BAPP

The Good Ol' USofA

I've been absent for a week even though it doesn't feel like that long. What a whirlwind life is lately with traveling every weekend and weekdays being absorbed by church work, wedding planning, personal "stuff" and trying to get back into regular workouts. And seriously, you would not believe the latest office happenings.

A quick example:

With the inauguration of President Obama today, much of the office chat revolved around politics. At one point this afternoon, our receptionist "Okie Dokie girl", asked JB, the girl I work next to, and myself what the first words to "The Star-Spangled Banner" were. She and I both responded "O say can you see" only to be countered with a "No it's not" from OD girl. "That's what everyone thinks but it's really "Jose can you see"". She replied that during a discussion with her 12 year old son last night, he told her that his choir teacher had taught his choir class that most people believe the opening words to the famous patriotic song are "O say can you see" but they are really confused because it actually starts "Jose can you see"-you just gotta put the "huuuh" at the beginning. And so, since all 12 year olds are the authority on staples of patriotic music, she believed him.

I tell you, I work with brain surgeons. (Do you sense the extreme sarcasm?)

And speaking of patriotism, what a day for Americans! Though I may not agree with every position he takes or every view he supports, President Obama made history today and I could not be prouder to be an American. So much is criticized within our country but I don't believe anyone could dispute the fact that today, we came together and changed our world for the better. The acceptance and promotion of an African-American in the White House speaks volumes about the true change that is taking place in our land. To think that just 55 years ago, or country was still a place of segregation but now the 1st (partial) African-American has taken over the office of Commander-In-Chief of that same country is astounding. But I am so glad that my fellow citizens have seen fit to judge a man not by the color of his skin but by what they see in his heart. And that makes me proud to be an American.

Unfortunately, that's all for this post. Updates will follow soon but until then, God bless the USA and give President Obama the grace and wisdom to lead our country in the will of God.

Blessings,
B
Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Romans 13:1

Funny Things

Randomly thought I'd share some funny anecdotes that have happened as of late...

~Yesterday morning on the way to work, as I was pulling off my street onto the main road, I saw one of these:

pecking away in my neighbor's yard. And I did laugh out loud. Only in Texas.

~Also yesterday, the receptionist at my office greeted a Hispanic customer and asked who he needed to see. He replied that he was there to see Matt, one of our producers, to which she replied, "What is your name?". Apparently, his Spanish was too fast for her as she told Matt that Manye Jose was there to see him when he actually said, "My name is Jose." Yes, I laughed out loud again.

~Poultry is a common theme of this post, for whatever reason, because today, while training a girl at work for my old job, she told me and another co-worker about a little chapel built by the Chicken King that is Pilgrim's Pride in Pittsburg, TX. She claims it is a 'really pretty place' even though it is smaller than our back office area so we lovingly nicknamed it the 'Chicken Chapel' where you can go reflect on...well...chickens.

~A quote from a co-worker when discussing the experience she had falling on her head while dancing with a homemade stripper pole made from PVC pipe: "It worked the first couple times." (I told you I work with heathens.)

~Another quote from the receptionist. She had just taken a message for our owner, who keeps a very busy schedule as former mayor and member of many community groups. The caller made the comment that trying to get ahold of him was like trying to get ahold of God-he's never there. To which I replied that that was the perfect opportunity for her to witness to that man by sharing of God's omnipresence so that she could get another jewel in her crown. Her response? "Girl, I ain't got no crown. Them jewels done fell out a long time ago." I do a lot of praying for these people.

~One of our customers at the insurance agency I work for filed a claim that he "somehow ran up on a 4 foot curb". Really? I mean really? And another filed a claim that she "hit a cow". Folks, you can't make this stuff up. Only in Texas...

~This last one is a bit long but it caused such a disruption in my little world that I have to share it. Last Thursday, at the end of my monthly grocery + everything-else-that-I-randomly-need-or-don't-need shopping, I walked to the checkout, proud that I had remembered to bring in some old bags so I wouldn't have to take even more home to add to my already overflowing stash of plastic grocery bags that numbers in the thousands. Anyway, with no one behind me, I told the elderly cashier of my plan to use the old bags and this was the conversation that ensued-as she continued to check my groceries:

Her: Well, I'd really rather use new ones. Because if I used yours I'd..." (with no justifiable reason.
Me: Oh. Well, ok. I was just trying to keep from having to take home a bunch of plastic bags when I already have way too many. Just trying to do my part to help the environment.
Her: Well, I just don't think we do that. It's against our code. Since somebody might be allergic to your bags. You know they make you get a new plate for each trip at a buffet restaurant and since Wal-Mart is comparable to Golden Corral, I just don't think that's possible.
Me: Well, that's fine. I'll just take home more bags.
Her: You know, you could check with a manager and see about recycling your bags. I know we have a place where you can do that in the break room and I think there's another one somewhere. Or you could ask the people at the door if there's one. Oh wait, let me ask this girl. (She proceeds to ask another checker about the bag recycling drop-off and other checker states it is just outside the 1st door.)
Her: So you can drop your bags off there. But I suppose it would make sense for you to be able to reuse your own bags. I mean, if you're just using your bags that's not a big deal right? But we wouldn't want anyone else to use them.
Me: That's what I want to do-just use my own bags.
Her: Well, I guess next time I could do that. It makes sense and it's good that you're trying to help the environment. Oh look, I gave you two bags for your ice cream because for some reason, four layers of plastic keeps things colder longer than just two.
Me: (After paying and trying to start pushing my cart towards the door) (Exasperated) That's fine. Thank you very much. Have a good night.

So by the end of the conversation, she had convinced herself that it would be ok for people to reuse their own plastic bags as long as the sharing of bags never took place. The intelligence of some people astounds me sometimes. I was so aggravated by the time I got home and then on top of all that, she basically put every item I purchased in a different bag so I ended up with such a surplus of bags that I could wallpaper my entire house. Anyway, lesson learned. Just let the Wal-Mart checkers do their job-at least the elderly ones anyway-without any interference.

I hope you've gotten a laugh or two from these stories. You really should walk a day in my high heels-you'd be surprised at the craziness that occurs here in Tiny Town, Texas.

Blessings,
B

P.S. And for the record, I do believe the Lord laughed with me on most of these-even The Big Man can't deny funny.

I Finally Figured It Out

All this time I've been thinking that all these Texans I'm surrounded by were just crazy or redneck or country or whatever. But after a conversation with the girls in my office, I'm convinced this is what makes them the way they are:

They eat the 1st snow.

Any of you North Carolinians know what I'm talkin' about? In the big NC, you just don't eat the 1st snow. Not too sure of why (maybe something to do with all the pollution and whatnot) but you just don't do it. That's a no-no. And hello!?!?! When you get the 2nd snow, that's when it's safe to make snocream. YUM! Gosh, I miss that stuff. I haven't had any in sooo long but boy was it GOOD growing up! We'd always rush to get a big bowl full of snow so that everyone can have a cup of snocream (snow mixed with milk, vanilla & sugar). I can almost taste it!

But so much for ever eating any of that here in TX. The 1st snow is usually the only snow! And I still love all you crazy Texans that eat it...

Mirror, Mirror

Allow me to rant for a minute... What's that you say? All I ever seem to do is rant??? Well, ok. That is may be a partial lie.

I've been pretty frustrated lately in the "men" department. Not just b/c my last one turned out to be such a lemon but b/c of the ones that are currently present in my life. With the exception of family members & my pastor, I've pretty much written men off. I don't have many expectations any more and I surely don't have any hope of finding Mr. Right any time soon. (See this post.)

Now, fortunately I get God's sense of humor sometimes. Which is why I went on a date with the guy I lovingly refer to as Richard the Redneck. Now I met Richard online through MySpace thanks to my ex's aunt (AWKWARD) who told him about me. Why she thought I was still so heartbroken over her nephew that I needed to be fixed up with anyone is beyond me but she did. So prior to even knowing this guy's name, he already knows what kind of car I drive, where I live and lots of other details about myself. Thank God I lock my doors at night or he might know what I eat for dinner every night. Anyway, feeling guilty about this guy and wanting to meet new friends, I told Richard I'd go to dinner with him. And we did. And it was fine. He's very shy and quiet so I talked A LOT about NOTHING. But it was fine. And honestly, Richard treated me better than any guy I've dated in while (minus the whole not-opening-the-door-for-me & not-bringing-me-anything-not-even-flowers deal). He was kind and I can tell he's a very gentle guy. He is my age, which is a plus, as I think we all know how wonderfully both older & younger men work out for me. *insert sarcasm* But I digress, Richard is a nice guy and as I said, very kind but in all honesty, I'm just simply not attracted to him. I think it's more that I'm attracted to the thought of him and not him. Needless to say, I would love to hang out-I like meeting new people and having different kids of friends-but I don't think he's interested in being friends. In fact, I know that. How do I know that? Take this conversation (that I'm having to paraphrase b/c the phone it was saved on died last week) for instance:

Me: Can I ask you a ?
Richard the Redneck: Sure
Me: Why is it we can have such great conversations via text but when we're in person, you're so quiet? Do I talk that much or do I scare you or something?
RtR: lol No. It's just that I have to be comfortable and warm up to somebody before I talk much. And if it we did talk, I'd want to talk about a relationship.
Me: What do you mean "talk about a relationship"?
RtR: I mean that when you and I talk, I'd wanna talk about being a couple.
Me: Oh. Well, can't we just talk as friends?
RtR: Of course we can. But promise me one thing.
Me: What's that?
RtR: That when you're ready to settle down, if I'm still single, you'll give me a holler.

Now, do you think the boy gets the picture that I just want to be friends? I'm thinking NO. And so the ever-impending chase of Bethany continues. (And although it is a bit strange, it does make me feel good about myself in a weird, "random strangers are in love w/me" kind of way. I guess everybody wants to feel wanted-regardless of how fescennine the situation may be.)

Ok, I have seriously digressed. The title of this post is "Mirror, Mirror" and was inspired by an encounter of sorts from Wednesday. The question I posed to the girls in my office as I filled in for the receptionist during lunch yesterday was this: What female human being on the planet earth told any male that a 6 inch long, pointy goatee is attractive? There's a guy at church that has one-such a nice guy and loads of laughs but his goatee totally throws me. And poor RtR-he would be pretty decent looking if he'd shave his. Don't get me wrong-I don't have a problem w/facial hair but I am a firm believer that a man can have clean cut facial hair and not the hairy bush or wooly handlebars so many of them have. Needless to say, I would love to give each man I know (that currently has facial hair) a lesson in personal hygiene which includes a 2-part series on the importance of grooming facial any hair on their body. I don't know many women that are attracted to such monstrosities and so I believe it would serve them well to heed my advice. Although, there has to be a reason they grow such vulgarities and I'm curious as to that reason. What is there about a snow-cone cup growing out of your chin that is so appealing? I don't get it. Can anyone enlighten me???

I suppose it would be a bit controlling of me to tell a man how to cut his hair (be it facial or otherwise). Besides, I'm a bit fearful of any man telling me what to do-I have that independent streak y'all. So, for now I'll just keep searching for a clean-cut, goatee laden lad-if there are any out there.

Something to smile about

Yesterday, while I was walking the nature trail, I was chased by not one but TWO wasps. These are not your regular wasps, they are the ultra-persistent ones that dare to get close enough to touch you but don't sting unless you're still for a long enough period of time.

So, if you need a good smile today, imagine me, power walking, then walking and swatting (and yelling) and then running to escape the killer wasps...

(Thank goodness no one was too close behind me to watch my shorts ride up between my fat thighs as this took place.)

Be blessed,
Bethany
My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26

You might wanna sit down for this...

I (unintentionally) went jogging for the 1st time in over a decade yesterday.

(Take a moment to regain your composure...)

Apparently, the nature trail near the college here really inspires me. I shocked myself.

Side note: There was a little old man (who was at least 6'3") was walking behind me who, when he caught up w/me said, "You're a fast walker. I'm just getting stretched out and you're keeping up with me." And as he passed me on his way back, he said, "You're doing a good job!"

So, do I take this as his "I-should-really-encourage-the-fat-girl" good deed of the day or am I wearing a sign that says "Compliments From Old Men Motivate Me"?

~B
My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26

P.S. Last night, I received the most encouraging MySpace message from the pastor that preached our revival last week. I don't think he knows how much his time here sincerely changed my life. But his kind words made my day. Thanks Pastor Wright!

A sign I've been too busy...

Today, when I left my house to go back to work from lunch, a bird flew out from under my front porch roof and I saw where (s)he is building a nest there.


If a bird feels safe enough to nest at my front door, I'm obviously not there enough.

Happy nesting!

~BB
My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26