Now, where was I?

It's been a wild 10 days. I've been to NC and back which means I've been to Dallas and back. It was a busy trip-or at least it felt that way. Here's how the past week and a half have gone in my world.

*Monday, 12/22/08
Had a good, busy day at work and left immediately after to go to DFW to see Z. Arrived safely and celebrated Christmas with him and his family. Went out to dinner at BJ's-a great pizza/sports bar in Arlington. They have the BEST pizza! Headed back to his house and did a photo shoot with him and his siblings. They are so fun! Had some of the Coldstone ice cream he got me and then hit the sheets.

*Tuesday, 12/23/08
Left DFW east bound and arrived in the Tarheel state at noon. The airport and traffic were total chaos but I ended up sitting next to a guy my age from Tyler so he filled me in on the events and attractions of my future home. Upon arrival, after a quick stop at Panera for a baker's dozen of their Cinnamon Crunch bagels (which is becoming a tradition), we headed home. Both brothers & sis-in-law had already arrived and Grandma had been there for a week. Was super tired from getting up so early & traveling so managed a short nap after lunch. Then headed out for some last minute shopping with the whole fam minus Gma & Dad. Never want to do that again. Came home, had pizza for dinner then opened presents with older bro & SIL as they were heading to her parents' house the next day. Got some great stuff, all from my list so that was good. Fell asleep on the couch with bros watching tv and chatting around 1am.

*Wednesday, 12/24/08 CHRISTMAS EVE
Got up late at 7:30 since I was supposed to pick Dad up from a minor medical procedure at 8am. Headed to get him & we had some father/daughter time. Ate breakfast & shopped for a bit then headed home. Hung out for a while until bro & SIL left and then went out last minute shopping AGAIN w/mom and little bro. Not so fun but really not as bad as I expected. Finished up then headed to Christmas Eve service at church where I sang a couple songs. It was a good service. Came home, ate dinner and just hung out until bedtime.

*Thursday, 12/25/08 CHRISTMAS DAY
Woke up around 9:30 and just sat for a while with mom til others started to wake up. Watched tv and ate breakfast then just enjoyed laying around in my pj's. Finally got a shower and we opened presents around 2. It was a good Christmas-I got all I asked for and more and the time spent with family was priceless. Stayed up watching tv & hanging around the house after bro & his gf left around 9.

*Friday, 12/26/08
I like to refer to this day as the "Post-Christmas Crash"-the day when everyone realizes the Big Day is over and 'real life' has begun it's trek back. Just did a little shopping with Mom, Gma & Dad & ate the BEST Mexican food EVER. Although, I think that's probably just because I've had to eat Tex-Mex for the past 16 months. I LOVE real Mexican though and I think it's because I LOVE white cheese sauce. I've seriously considered buying some from Moe's and bringing it home and probably will soon. So after great Mexican, we headed home to relax and enjoy the evening.

*Saturday, 12/27/08
The Post-Christmas Crash is in full swing but Mom and I ventured out early for a little Christmas surprise-manicures at Dashing Diva. We had a good time together and I really enjoyed just being with her. She's a lot of fun and I really enjoy her company. After lunch at home, we went out shopping for a bit and then went home and I went back out with Dad. Had a touch of the holiday letdown and stayed up way too late.

*Sunday, 12/28/08
Church time came early but it was a good service and lunch was grand-I finally got chicken & hashbrowns. Mix that with broccoli cornbread, leftover sweet potatoes and butter beans and that's a feast folks. Spent the afternoon napping and watched "The Notebook" with the fam that night. Packed, did a little laundry, and hit the sheets in preparation for my travel back.

*Monday, 12/29/08
Left around 9:30 headed back to the airport with a bag that weighed well over 50 lbs. Upon arrival, I found that it would cost $65.00 to get that 57 lb. bag back to TX so I unpacked a few items into my carry-ons and made it at 50 lbs even. Stood in the security line for 30 minutes and was finally in and ready to board. Perused the bustling airport for a bit and then made my way to my gate. We boarded and loaded on time and headed out. I slept most of the way and was picked up by my wonderful fiance in Dallas. (As you can tell, the flight back was a bit less thrilling than the flight there-as it usually is.) Back at his house, we enjoyed being together and had a great dinner of burgers and hot dogs that his dad had grilled. I made it back home at 11:30pm and unloaded, unpacked and hit the sheets. It was an excellent end to a wonderful Christmas vacation.

So that's the roundup of the holiday season for my little life. I'll do a 2008 finale and 2009 projection in the next couple days as I have time. I'll be traveling quite a bit but really want to get some writing in as well. The new year is bringing lots of change to my Pearce party of 1 but good times are coming!

For now, have a happy and safe New Year's Eve and a joyous celebration of the new beginning! Blessings to you all!

~B
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

I have decided to follow Jesus

I found myself singing that song with more passion than ever this Sunday morning before Christmas. The pastor had just finished his holiday sermon about the Life, Love, and Logos of the Word and I was just one in the sea of people in that big Baptist church. Without going into a lot of detail, there were some events that transpired at the church I joined and had been so faithful to during my time in Paris that made it pretty much impossible for me to continue attend. Fortunately, I guess you could say, I've been out of town every weekend for the past month so I hadn't dealt with the blow of attending another church in town. Until today. But I resigned myself to going to this particular church as I had gone to a women's conference there back in February and had been quite impressed.

In all honesty, I kind of expected to feel like a fish out of water. It had been this way last Christmas after the guy I was dating, considered marrying, and moved to Paris for broke up with me. He was the youth pastor at our church and I wondered if I'd ever be able to be a member there and be comfortable again. In fact, over the Christmas holidays, I started the process of preparing to move back east, to NC, where I knew I could settle back into the comfort of home. Christmas hadn't been the joyous, heartfelt holiday it had always been and I had suffered through every minute of it. We all know that story had a different ending but this year, I found myself in much of the same situation. I was mourning the loss of a dear friendship and the loss of the safe haven that church had been to me. Yet again in the throes of transition with preparations to move, start a new job and get married, I didn't see how this Christmas was any more joyful than the last and was throwing a great pity party for myself.

But there I was, seated in the flawlessly decorated sanctuary, listening to the pianist play this childhood favorite. And though the rest of the congregation remained silent, I couldn't help but allow the words to spill over my lips. For it was in that moment, the sweet, hushed voice of the Holy Spirit reminded me what my life is really supposed to be about. And as I closed my eyes and bowed my head and continued to sing softly, I began to realize again that I had made a choice to follow Jesus and there would be no turning back. I could allow my life to be overrun by circumstances and worldly things or I could die daily to myself and pick up my cross to follow Him.

So there, in that big, Baptist church, singing a non-traditional Christmas song, I relinquished control again to the only Man who sees me in all my imperfections but still continues to love me perfectly and I began to see the true meaning of Christmas.

Blessings,
B
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

Christmastime is here, happiness and cheer...

Sad but true fact:

I finally officially got in the Christmas spirit last night.

Why has it taken so long for me to embrace the holiday season?

Well, between changing job assignments at work, planning a move (more on that later), planning a wedding, traveling every weekend and getting ready to start a new position w/Z at our new church (related to the move), I just have not had time or energy to shop or do anything Christmas related.

But last night, I finally had the chance (and felt up) to face the Christmas retail industry. And in all honesty, it wasn't that bad. I hit up Hasting's, Tuesday Morning, Office Max (they actually have some funny "Office" stuff), Dollar Tree (picked up a ton of great notepads for my co-workers) and Wal-Mart (where I bought everything else since that's the only place to really shop in this town).

I'm only buying for a few people here in TX, mostly Z & his fam, and then will pick up the gifts for my family (if my sweet mother hasn't already) after I fly to NC. I figure I'll save the $25 it would be to check a 2nd bag on my flight. I feel pretty good though because when I made my list last night, I have something for almost everyone on it. And I don't have too much to do this weekend to get ready. Some baking, wrapping, and minor prep and I'll be good to go.

However, I have 3 songs to prepare to sing while I'm in NC at my father's request. And as much as I love "Feliz Navidad", I don't think that's quite what he had in mind. So I'll be working on prepping those in the next few days-or on the plane.

I'm looking forward to being away from work for a bit. I switched positions within my office and my new desk is up front. This wouldn't be a problem except for the co-workers up front are a bit rowdy. I'm really trying to do my best to keep my cool but the past few days I've seethed quite a bit so my method of combat?

CARRY MY BIBLE. And that's just what I'm doing. I figure I will kill 'em with kindness or soak myself with Scripture. I'm thinking the latter will have the better end result. So I'll give it a whirl.

I'm hoping next year I'll be able to prepare more for the Christmas season. *Hopefully* Z & I will be settled in our apt/house and I won't be dealing with so much change. Maybe that will mean I can get my Christmas list to my family more than a week in advance. But in my defense, the 1st list from the others just got sent out Sunday.

My prayer this season is that we all will take the time to remember the Reason we even celebrate this blessed holy day Christmas. And that I don't get a huge photo of my brother's dogs as a gift.


We Are The Reason as recorded by Avalon

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love

I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

He is my reason to live 

Blessings,
B
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:11

At this exact moment...

I hate the evils of technology. E-mail, twitter, text, instant message, blogs... ALL OF IT! Why, oh why, am I so full of hate? Only because when using any of the above listed means of communication, the tone or inflection of anything written is questionable. And that small detail is causing some serious trouble in my life right now.

Don't worry. I'll get over my strong feelings soon but let me offer a small word of advice-CALL. If there is any question that what you are trying to say may be received differently than it is intended, just call whomever you're communicating with. You'll save yourself a LOT of trouble & apologizing. And you might even stay out of the doghouse.



Blessings,
B
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

And for the record...

Changing jobs/desks at my office = mass confusion. Especially since the office manager isn't here today and these girls need some hand-holding when it comes to such commotion.

But this is just the beginning. Today it's my desk, in the next few weeks it will be my house, and within the year my entire life will be completely different than it is today. I choose to look at it as a renovation, updating, if you will. My life at this point is good-things are moving along at a steady pace and I'm comfortable. But it's time to step out of my comfort zone-in a lot of areas. And so here it comes, the dreaded 'C' word...CHANGE. Dun, dun, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

This should cause fear, trepidation, and uneasiness. I should be stressed, doubtful and anxious. Yet for me, it is different. There is courage, not fear. There is contentment, not trepidation. There is peace, not uneasiness. I am relaxed, not stressed. I am confident, not doubtful. I am assured, not anxious.

And all because I know Who holds my future & whose Hand I hold.

Blessings,
B

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

I Finally Figured It Out

All this time I've been thinking that all these Texans I'm surrounded by were just crazy or redneck or country or whatever. But after a conversation with the girls in my office, I'm convinced this is what makes them the way they are:

They eat the 1st snow.

Any of you North Carolinians know what I'm talkin' about? In the big NC, you just don't eat the 1st snow. Not too sure of why (maybe something to do with all the pollution and whatnot) but you just don't do it. That's a no-no. And hello!?!?! When you get the 2nd snow, that's when it's safe to make snocream. YUM! Gosh, I miss that stuff. I haven't had any in sooo long but boy was it GOOD growing up! We'd always rush to get a big bowl full of snow so that everyone can have a cup of snocream (snow mixed with milk, vanilla & sugar). I can almost taste it!

But so much for ever eating any of that here in TX. The 1st snow is usually the only snow! And I still love all you crazy Texans that eat it...

Hump Day = Random Thoughts Day

Just for you, my faithful followers...

~I love the statement on my daily calendar for today:

Lord God, may I always remember that you are my refuge. Because my hope is in you, I am held in your arms forever. Amen.

This is a very comforting statement to me today for whatever reason. Perhaps because it is 100% truth.

~I am very excited about Christmas but am not sure why since I have purchased 1 (that's right ONE) gift. Maybe just the thought of the festivities and being with loved ones and seeing friends. I am very blessed to have wonderful parents who help me get home for the important holidays. Thanks Mom & Dad!


~I actually went to the gym for the 1st time in months yesterday after work. It was freezing cold & I was only able to walk/jog for 20 minutes before leaving in embarrassment because a middle-aged skinny woman had lapped me. Twice. (For the record though, my thunder thighs are SUPER sore today from walking so hard & fast as to try to stay ahead of Motor Middle-Aged Marge.) So I left and bought groceries-mostly healthy things and on the way home stopped and took pictures of Christmas lights.

~That may become a project for me this Christmas-taking pictures of Christmas lights. Now that I have a new camera I can take good pictures at night (since that is a new setting) that don't look like blurry poop. And it has smile detection too-for all those smiling snowmen in everyone's yards. Ha. Seriously? That's how I got the picture of my mom in yesterday's post-she had to smile that big for it to pick her up. But it actually works really well. So plan "Capture the Christmas Lights" is in action!

~Tonight, I am actually setting forth to buy my 1st real Christmas gifts. I'm trying to either find stuff my mom could maybe buy in NC or I can go ahead and ship so that I won't have to pay $25 to check a 2nd bag since that has become standard. (BTW-I HATE the new airline regulations!) Anyway, we'll see what I can find. I also can only pack 50 lbs so I'll have to watch what I take with me. Let's see how this goes...

~I also have a dilemma: To Christmas card or not to Christmas card? The ultimate holiday question. Considering my personal life, I realize I really should send out some form of contact to the people of my past & present that I love so much but I have quite a bit to do between now and Christmas. So would it be terrible to wait until after January hits to send out a blurb about my life? I'm thinking no but if you have an opinion, please share.

~I am super excited to make my very 1st Spice Cake. Z & I had it at my Grandmother's this weekend-more on why we were there later but it is a SUPER easy cake and SO SCRUMPTIOUS! Just a cake mix, 3 eggs, 1/3 cup of oil, 1 cup of water, and a can of frosting MIXED IN the batter. A little piece of heaven on earth.

'Tis all for now. I'm sure there will be plenty of stories from the holidays to share with you all. If I have time in between moving & finding a new job. So, until then...

Happy Holidays,
B
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Happy Birthday Mom!

I would be remiss if I didn't pause & wish my mother happy birthday (even if it's just after midnight-her time-when I post this).

Happy birthday, Nancy Lou!

To the woman who...
*gives her all for others,
*works tirelessly @ 2 jobs,
*forgets why she calls me,
*yet calls back 3 minutes later because she remembered,
*was a constant presence during my childhood,
*was my personal taxi driver during my high school years,
*is my biased counselor who usually takes my side,
*makes me laugh on a consistent basis (at least once a conversation-'my kilobytes', 'I forgot my narcotics!', etc.),
*always thinks of others before she thinks of herself,
*has never been selfish a day in her life,
*is a GREAT shopping partner,
*still has dreams,
*treats all people with the love of Christ,
*taught me that I am somebody and I have a purpose,
*corrected me when I needed it even though it hurt both of us,
*allowed me enough room to make mistakes but discover life on my own,
*believes in me and encourages me to pursue my dreams because I am capable of that,
*is still in love with my father, her husband of 35 years,
*takes care of everyone else while neglecting herself,
*has lived her faith,
*taught me what God's love looks like through hers,
*is a real-life role model to me,
*has served the Lord whole-heartedly for as long as I've known her,
*has loved me unconditionally since the day I was born,
*exemplified servant leadership in our home,
*is the best mom a girl could ever have...

Happy Birthday, Mom! You're the best!

I Got Some 'Splainin' To Do

As Ricky Ricardo would say.

A few days ago when I made my list of all the things I'd accomplished as of late, I mentioned some things that need a bit more clarification. This post is only 1 of those. More will follow...

I'm ENGAGED!
Yes, Z popped the question on October 25th and I of course, said yes. It's funny because the start of our relationship can be traced through this blog and now here we are planning our wedding! Here's the story as adapted by our wedding webpage at The Knot.

*************************************************************
Z and his family had invited me down for the weekend since they were planning a family BBQ on Saturday. Not out of the ordinary, I traveled to Arlington Friday, October 24th after work. Zeb & I chaperoned a youth outing that night and the next morning enjoyed just being together.

After the mid-afternoon BBQ, Z then rushed (for the 1st time I'd ever seen) to get us to the Dallas Arboretum before it closed at 5pm. He said he knew how much I wanted to visit a pumpkin festival and Autumn at the Arboretum was occurring through the following weekend. Upon our arrival at 4:20, the ticket lady made sure we knew we HAD to leave at 5pm because the entire facility (66 acres) had been rented for 3 weddings. I tried to talk Z out of paying so much to go in for only 40 minutes but he persisted. So in we went.

The gardens were beautiful and pumpkins lined every walkway. I loved every display and snapped as many pictures as possible during our time. Z kept suggesting we visit different spots and so we managed to wander through much of the gardens. A certain flower Nazi (aka facility security woman) unsuccessfully attempted numerous times to usher us toward the exit. Z repeatedly asked if we could just take "one more picture" and we continued to peruse the gardens.

Finally, at the top of a tower-like spot that overlooked a grassy lawn and the lake next to the gardens, I stood at the edge taking as many pictures as possible before we were forced by the flower Nazi to move along. Z stood behind me and made the comment "I love doing things like this with you" to which I replied "Me too. It's so fun.". As I finished snapping pictures, Z took my camera and asked if I was done taking pictures. Though I found it odd, I said yes and so he put the camera in his pocket. As he pulled me in to hug him, I rested my head on his chest and could hear his heart pounding a million miles a minute and became worried, thinking something was wrong. He stepped back, pulled the ring box out of his pocket and knelt down on one knee. The following was our exchange in that moment:

Him: Bethany Pearce,
Me: Zeb Parker,
Him: Will you marry me?
Me: Are you serious???
Him: Yes.
Me: Yes. YES!
Him: (smiled and stood)
We embraced
Me: Thank you!
Me (repeatedly): Oh my gosh! Are you serious??? Zeb Parker!

*******************************************************
And so goes the story of our engagement. It was really sweet and SUPER unexpected although I did have a feeling something was going on. Over the previous 2 weeks or so he'd been asking for my ring size because his 'sister had a ring she had bought me for my birthday that needed to be sized' but I couldn't let her know that I knew about it. He did ask me twice which raised my suspicion and I thought there was an odd-shaped box in his pocket when we left for the Arboretum and he did rush for the 1st time EVER but even so, it was a surprise. Definitely a moment I'll never forget.

Afterward, we went to The Highlands (a very pretty outdoor shopping district) and sat on one of the park benches there just to revel the moment. :) As storybook as it sounds, we heard several love songs over the radio they had playing throughout the 'park' area as we sat on that bench in view of the creek and greenery. After 'When A Man Loves A Woman' played, we headed to Borders there in the shopping center and both bought wedding books by The Knot. We returned to his house, prayed and then celebrated with his family (who all knew it was coming). We had sparkling grape juice and chatted and took pictures. It was great!

Now I know what most of you are thinking, "When did she call her mom and dad? I'm sure they did that right when it happened. She must have skipped that part of the story." I'm sorry to disappoint you but we did not call my parents that day. Or the next day. Or the next. No, we waited until we were in person with them at Thanksgiving (yes, over a month later) to officially tell them the news. Can I just TELL you how hard that was? Everyone and their mother knew (including my brothers, several friends and co-workers) but not Mom & Dad.

Needless to say, the past month & a half have been bliss for me & Z. There have been stressful moments but overall, the first part of our engagement has been very exciting. We have a couple of dates in mind but haven't settled on one yet-we're planning to decide by Christmas so I'll keep you 'posted'. Ha.

In the midst of all of the engagement hype (and slightly prior to it), Z has been pursuing a youth pastorate position for us to take together. Another exciting adventure! And I sincerely mean it. I don't have time for the details on that journey now but will write about it soon. Let's just say I only thought Paris was country.

And so my friends, here's the 1st of many 'catch-up' posts giving you a deeper glimpse into my little corner of life. The holidays are soon approaching which means 1 of 2 things: A) I'll be bored so I'll have more time to write, or B) I'll be super busy so you won't see me for a while. Only time will tell but my calendar is looking a bit full.

Blessings to you & your family for a joyous celebration of our Lord's birth!

~B

P.S. One of my favorite passages of Scripture in regard to Christmas is Mary's song.

And Mary said: My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers. Luke 1: 46-55

'Tis The Season

Well, a day week late and a (couple hundred) dollars short-thanks Mom & Dad, I'm back in TX. When I last wrote, I was preparing for a long trip home to NC to celebrate Thanksgiving with my fam.Over the past 10 days I have done the following:

*Traveled over 2,000 miles
*Been on the road approx. 40 hours
*Driven or ridden through 4 states 2x each
*Told my parents that Z & I are engaged. Yes, you read that right-more details later.
*Eaten 4,962,185 calories. That could be a slight exaggeration.
*Lost 20 hours of sleep. That could also be a slight exaggeration.
*Written 0 blogs. Hence this one.
*Redecorated my blog, twitter & facebook sites for Christmas
*Decided to not decorate my house for Christmas at all. The time I'm going to be at home does not justify the hassle.
*Booked all my weekends for December
*Bought 0 Christmas gifts. That's right, nothing, nada, zilch. Can we say PANIC?!?!?!
*Exercised 0 hours. Fatty McRoll girl is back. Yuck.
*Contracted & successfully gotten over a head cold WITHOUT going to the doctor. And only once did I comment that I wanted to cut my head off to make everything better. The number of times I complained about not being able to breathe? I'm not telling.
*Laughed with my brothers 842,916 times. Withk it like thith. Mmmkay little boys? Do you want any candy???
*Officially received my TX driver's license (that saga to follow as well)
*Gone shopping 1 time. That's a record, folks.
*Forgotten about technology 492 times and even went 2 whole days without indulging into the e-world.
*Done a LOT of thinking and praying about my life and future
*Learned a new job at work
*Ended a close friendship. Ouch. That is a definite understatement.
*Thought a LOT about how to give creative Christmas gifts this year.
*Spent 11 consecutive days with Z. And am still madly in love with him. :)
*Decided that I am far too blessed for what I deserve. Thanks God-You're amazing!

And with that, this post is over. Finito. Finished. Check back later for more details on several items in the above list.

Blessings,
B
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. Psalm 107:31

That Good Old Baylor Line

"We'll march forever down the years,
As long as stars shall shine.
We'll fling our green and gold afar
To light the ways of time,
And guide us as we onward go;
That good old Baylor line!"

This is what I hear every time my mother answers her cell phone when I call her. 'Why' you ask? Because a couple of weeks ago, I helped her download downloaded her alma mater from Baylor University (in Wacko, Texas-as she says) as a ringtone to her phone. Oh how my mama loves her school. Can I tell you how many times she did their whole 'Sic 'em Bears' football bear claw during my childhood? So now, whenever she receives a call-from me anyway, she sings along with the ringtone and continues to sing even after she answers the call. It really is quite amusing. The extent of her joy at hearing that song every day really cannot be expressed in my feeble words on this blog. In fact, the day she got it, she called me and left the voicemail:

Hey, it's your mother. Just checking on you. Call me back when you get this-I want to hear my ringtone. I left my phone on all day just so I could hear it and nobody's called me all day long. So call me back. (Said in her best 'woe is me' voice.)

My little mama's a funny woman. We get at least one good chuckle during every chat and usually have pretty good conversations. She is so excited about the holidays I don't think she can contain herself. Minus having to work this week and panicking at having 8 of us in their 3 bedroom house, she LOVES this time of year. Take this conversation we had Saturday for example:

Me: What are you doing?
Mom: I'm at the Wal-Mart buying Thanksgiving decorations.
Me: You never decorate for Thanksgiving! What's up with that?
Mom: I've never had so many people coming for Thanksgiving!

And this conversation earlier in the day is a prime example of her secretly trying to contain her glee while going into "freak out" mode:

Me: When is JP (my little bro) coming?
Mom: He and Sydnee (his gf) are coming in either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning and leaving Thursday night. And your father and I are going to a hotel.
Me: What!?!?! Why?
Mom: Well, there's you & Zeb, Jonathan & Sydnee, Brian & Ali, me & your father. Where are we all going to sleep???

She's so funny sometimes. I love it! I can't wait to see that little woman and give her a big hug. And Dad too. He's looking for good leaf rakers this week. I told him I was bringing a good helper-Z. :) But truth be told, I'll find any excuse to hang out with the fam and just be around them. I'm so looking forward to it myself! I don't know who is more excited, me or my mama.

FYI: I LOVE PUMPKINS!

What am I not looking forward to? The 15 hour car ride. Granted, being with Z is always fun and he keeps me laughing but 15 hours in any car does not bode pleasant thoughts for me. It will be nice since we don't usually get to spend so much time together. And we have snacks and drinks and books and quizzes and music and blankets and magazines packed to keep us occupied so hopefully we'll be ok. Thank goodness he's so laid back and peaceful. He really is my balance. So even though it's a forever long drive, I am sure we'll have a good time together.

The thing I'm anticipating most about this holiday? No, it's not the actual Thanksgiving dinner food (although it probably should be as my mama is the best cook known to humankind). It's the time during and just after we eat where we all sit and talk and LAUGH. Those are my favorite memories of my family-our laughter. We are blessed enough that both of my brothers possess this insane ability to make anything funny. Whether it's front or cover, I'm not sure. But it is SO FUN! We typically laugh until Mom has to go 'check on the baby' (as they used to say) and my sides and cheeks hurt from laughing so much. It's by far the best part of ANY time that my whole family gets together. And this year will be fun with all 8 of us being there.

Can you tell I'm excited???

I have some other posts started that will have to wait. Z & I are leaving as soon as I get off work today and will be on the road through the night and into the morrow. (Sheesh, who ever thought I would use the word 'morrow' in my writing???) Say a prayer for us if you don't mind. And I'll be back with lots of great Turkey Day updates. My prayers are that each of us has a blessed holiday filled with thankfulness and gratitude to our great God who is the Giver of all that is good.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

Blessings,
B
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

What A Man, What A Man, What A Man, What A Mighty Good Man

Yes, he is y'all!

Ok, I know I talk about him quite often but I'd like to take a quick commercial break from our regularly scheduled blog to dote about my boyfriend, Z.

(Mom and Dad, sit down.)

I have never been more sure of anything in my life when I say that I know that Zebulon Albert Parker is the man God created for me. He exceeds all my expectations and is so much better than I ever dreamed a man could be. And is certainly 1,000 times better than what I deserve.

Why am I so head over heels for him? Well, let me just tell you about his latest romantic gesture. I had a bad day today. When I say bad, I mean one of Alexander's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. My emotions had been a roller coaster wreck all day and I had an extremely painful afternoon (for my heart, not physically). But I determined within myself (and with Z's help) to go to church and make the best of it. So as I'm sitting in service at approximately 6:40 or so, in walks Z who proceeds to sit down beside me on the pew as if such an act were absolutely normal. That would be normal except that he lives 2 hours away and had brought his mom with him. So after a couple passed notes during the sermon (sorry, Lord), he told me that he had come to make sure that I was ok and that his 'soulmate was hurting so he was hurting'.

Can I tell you how desperately I just wanted to grab ahold of him as tight as I possibly could and cry at that moment? But I didn't because he had also written [Don't cry.]. I'm telling you this man is amazing. So after church and a dinner with him and his mom, we came back to my house where we sat and chatted for a while. It felt so good to just sit and be myself as we laughed and talked together. After his mom went out to the car to give us a few minutes of privacy, he held me close and told me that he would always be there for me. And no matter what time it was or what he was doing, he'd always just be a 2 hour drive away.

There was lots more mushy stuff said but I'll spare you. I just basically wanted to share that I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world and no, you can't have him. I can't believe how blessed I am for God to have brought him to me and will never give him up.

Ok, so there's my nomination for the Best Boyfriend On The Face Of The Earth award. And in my eyes, he's already the winner!

I love you, Z!


Blessings,
Bethany
Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

These Times They Are A-Changin'

CHANGE IS HARD.

Yeah, yeah. I know after such a long period of silence you probably want to read something a bit more revolutionary. But I'm sticking to what I know and I know change is hard.

There's a lot in my life that seems to be changing. Actually, the majority of what is changing is me. If you had asked me even just 3 months ago where I thought I'd be by Thanksgiving, I don't know exactly what I would have said but I certainly wouldn't have anticipated being here of all places.

Now, I know what you're thinking (Mom) and no, I'm not moving. This week anyway. My life just seems to have taken off on a spin of it's own, completely out of my control. Which, if you know me at all, is very unprecedented. I'm usually on top of things and have a plan for at least the next 7.2 weeks. But somehow, there is a plan that is being laid out before me that is not my own. And well, my only conclusion is that the other Person who is control of my life must be laying it out. And for once, I'm ok with that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs and a wee bit skeert but overall, there's a calming Voice assuring me that 'This is how it's supposed to be.' So I just keep walking and trusting, my hand in His.

I read an article this morning, well, really a blog from Jeremi Richardson of the group Avalon. In his writing, Jeremi recounts reading Dr. Randy Pausch's book (author of The Last Lecture) and reconsidering all the 'brick walls' in his life. Over the past year, give or take a few months, I've made lots of plans only to meet, in many cases, a brick wall. So many times, I consider those brick walls a stopping point, concluding that if I meet such a wall, then what's on the other side must not be meant for me and my life. But Jeremi poses some good thoughts that he gleaned from Dr. Pausch's book about those walls, especially this one:

Brick walls are there for a reason, they let us prove how badly we want something.

So I'm left with questions. And driven to this prayer:

Lord,
Help me accept the brick walls that signify an end to my journey in that direction. Help me continue to persevere in the direction of those that signify simply an obstacle to prove my desire for what's on the other side. But most importantly Lord, give me the discernment to identify which is which and the wisdom to know the difference. I trust You.
Your daughter,
Bethany.

Here's hoping that you'll be able to pray a similar prayer soon.

Blessings,
Bethany

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

GOTV

GET. OUT. THE. VOTE.

Before I begin the recounting of my anecdotal weekend, I thought I'd spread a little election season cheer and share the story of my second experience exercising my right as a resident of the U.S. to vote.

It hit me sometime in the middle of last week as I prepared for the coming days that I needed to make sure that I had everything in order for the upcoming election and the traveling that I will do for the holidays. So I checked my voter registration card and everything appeared to be ok until I turned it over and read the following:

"If you registered to vote by mail and this is your first time to vote in a Federal Election in Texas, you must present a form of identification. Please check www.suchandsuch.com to verify acceptable forms of identification."

So naturally I freak out and head to my local DL office to get my very 1st Texas Drivers' License. The problem(s) with this?

1. My current drivers' license from NC is expired so I have to take both the written and driving tests. (Seriously??? I'M 25!!! And have had no accidents or tickets EVER!)
2. The lady doing the driving tests was out until 2 and they don't schedule driving tests beyond 3:00pm. How ridiculous is that?!?!?!?

So I spent the better part of my lunch hour applying for my license and still didn't have it when I left. For the rest of the day and evening, I was worrying about 2 things.

1. What if the poll workers ask to see my driver's license?
2. What if the line is miles long and have to wait for hours to vote?

Well, let me calm your nerves now. Neither happened.

Hurriedly, I drove out to my polling location on my lunch break as I had seen on the morning news that there were lines HOURS long on the East coast. I figured if the line was too long now, I'd just come back after work when I had unlimited time. But, as I pulled into the parking lot of the church that my precinct was assigned to, much to my surprise, there were all of 3 cars in the parking lot. I then proceeded to enter the church into a small room (the size of my living room & kitchen) set up with a few tables, cardboard voting partitions, and numerous little old ladies. And I basically just walked right up to the check in table since there was NOBODY in line. As I checked in, the precious elderly lady who verified my name/address said to me, "You just look so put together with your blouse and your bracelet and your bag. You look so together."

And just when I thought all poll workers were stuffy and only concerned with politics. Luckily they're just 'poll' workers and not 'pole' workers. Ha!

So I cast my PAPER vote (ah, the joys of living in the country) and inserted it into the machine and left. Voting is so different here-I had a long wait in the 2004 election in Cleveland and I voted electronically so the whole paper thing was new to me. Rural Farm Town, Texas is quite a step back from Cleveland, Tennessee. But I'll take it for now.

This whole story may seem pointless to many of you but I write it to note that even though I've lived in Small Town, Texas for over a year now, I still haven't lost my 'big(ger) city' thinking. It takes lots of adjustment for this country living.

Blessings y'all,
(yeah, I'm city but not that city)

Bethany :)

I Am Convinced...

That bloggers do not have TVs.

I return home after work most days intent on writing a really great post and before I know it, it's 10:00. Where does the time go? Well, I usually enjoy 7th Heaven reruns during dinner and I'll get distracted talking on the phone or making the occasional run to Wal-Mart and when I look at the clock (or listen to the TV), it's 10 and Bill O'Reilly is on.

So my conclusion is that instead of turning on the tv every day, bloggers, serious ones anyway, turn on their computers. And just write. So maybe that's what I should start doing. :) I'd really like to avoid long stints of writing silence. Those are no fun for anyone. Ok, well at least not for me.

So I'll be back soon. And boy, do I have some stories to share.

Blessings,
B

Oh, and if you haven't already: GET OUT AND VOTE!

I Live For Weekends!

My older brother had a shirt with a cartoon duck saying that on it when he was in junior high.

Is it sad that for me, that statement is true? I really do live for weekends. Friday nights spent traveling to see loved ones or being lazy or hanging out with friends; Saturdays spent with those loved ones or being lazy or cleaning or writing or reading; Sundays spent at church with afternoon naps and random meals. That is what I live for.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my weekdays. They just aren't my favorites. Especially Mondays. But it's funny to me how some very significant things can take place on weekdays and really, our weekdays determine our weekends, they set the tone. If we get a lot done during the week, we may get the occasional lazy weekend. If we are lazy during the week, we work on our days off. And sometimes, it's both-a busy week AND a busy weekend. Unfortunately, my life consists of mostly the last option.

But here's the question I ask myself at least once, every day:

Is what I'm doing making a difference???

Now I realize we all have obligations. I'm single so I am solely responsible for the upkeep of my home and taking care of tasks every day. Me having a lazy day means that I'll be the only one making up for it later. But I'm starting to learn the ebb and flow of that. However, the times when this question is really prominent are when I'm running around, acting like a mad woman trying to get anything accomplished. It's in those moments when my inner voice, the Holy Spirit, seems to flash that question across my mind.

And it's in those moments that I completely understand what is meant in Ecclesiastes 1:2-3: "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?

Those words really hit home when you feel that's what your whole life's work is sometimes. They stir up feelings of anger, sadness, regret, contempt, even jealousy (towards others who seem more fulfilled). Yes, I know I make a difference for a lot of people in my church and in my life. But I think you, my faithful Blab readers, understand what I mean. I want to 'know in my knower' and 'feel in my feeler' that I'm making a difference. I want to see the fruits of my labor. It's my desire to leave my mark on the world. A mark that only I, Bethany Ann Pearce, can leave.

I believe that one day, at the end of all of our journeys, we'll stand before our Creator, the Author & Finisher of our faith, and He'll ask us what marks we made on the world. I don't think He'll ask us the number of marks but about the quality of the marks we were able to make. Did we truly give Him glory through the marks we were able to make in the places we were able to make them? He won't compare our marks to anyone else's but He will compare the marks we made to our potential. And I want to be able to stand and confidently say, "Lord, I made the best marks I could."

So let me ask you this: Are you leaving your you-shaped mark???

Time Flies...

So how is it Wednesday already???

I can't believe how fast the weekend flew by and now here we are, in the middle of the week. So much has been done, doing so much & so much to do.

I enjoyed a fabulous weekend with Z and his fam Friday and Saturday. When I arrived Friday, Z & I headed to the church to chaperone a trip to a 'Hell House' (Christian Halloween event depicting influence of the devil and reality of hell and heaven). The line was so long (I mean, HELLO this is a big city, not your tiny little farm town, Bethany) so Z and I headed to dinner at the fabulous Macaroni Grill leaving the kids with the youth intern. Now before you think we're terrible youth chaperones, there were only 6 youth and they were simply going to be standing and waiting in a contained line. So see? We're not THAT bad. I absolutely adore the Grill and I enjoyed my first dinner eaten beside my boyfriend instead of across from him. I guess we just wanted that physical proximity rather than being 10 feet apart as the table appeared to be that wide.

After stuffing ourselves with Italian food (and being gone for almost 1 1/2 hours), we headed back to the line where we waited another hour or more with the kiddos. It was a bit chilly and by this time, my feet were KILLING me (I had worn low-heel boots that I thought were comfortable) so I pretty much leaned on Z for the rest of the wait. We finally made it inside the building after being driven by hayride to the site. The scenes were pretty graphic and very powerful-rape by meeting an online friend in person, a school shooting, an accidental pregnancy resulting in an abortion that killed both mother and baby, death, heaven and lastly hell. I've not been to such a detailed hell house before and it made me say the sinner's prayer again. I especially enjoyed the young man (Vic was his name, I believe) who wrapped everything up. He got the kid's attentions (there were approx. 25-30 people in our group) and held them as he discussed influence and doing our faith instead of just having it-which, as my faithful readers parents know, is a subject very dear to me.

Afterward, we delivered kids to their houses and headed back to Z's where we chatted with his parents and siblings. I was EXHAUSTED since my old body is not used to being out til 1:00AM but we were up until around 3 I think. Needless to say, I was NOT happy when my body woke me up at 8something because it needed to be...*relieved*. But luckily I was able to re-nest for a while longer until Z came in. Poor guy-he sleeps in the floor so that I can sleep in his bed when I visit. (And yes, I DO feel very bad about that.)

We were lazy for most of the morning and at 2:30 or so we sat down to a fabulous and famous Parker BBQ. There was so much food I could hardly take it all in: pulled pork, ribs, cheeseburgers, hot links, potato salad, baked beans, cole slaw, cheesecake, a chocolate something-or-other that I'll have to get the name from Z, and my german chocolate upside down cake. Needless to say- We. Were. Stuffed.

But even so, Z and I set off for the Dallas Arboretum and Gardens. And it was SOOO worth it!!! As you can see from the pictures, the place is beautiful. Z had known I'd wanted to go to a pumpkin patch or festival or SOMETHING fall-ish so he found out they were doing Autumn at the Arboretum. It was phenomenal and here are a few photos to prove it!

Afterward, we spent a little more time out and then headed to his house to spend time with his family. We had dinner and started watching Saturday Night Fever but I was out like a light before long. I guess a full belly and cuddling with Z were the perfect combination to get me snoozin'. I headed to bed shortly after that and left at my usual 5:30AM on Sunday.

The first few days of this week have been fairly uneventful. My Pastor is in the hospital due to complications from a kidney stone (prayers are appreciated) and I've been very unmotivated to do much of anything. I have GOT to get back in the gym or walking or something. I also have GOT to start cooking healthier and drinking more (water please!) or I'll never get back to losing weight. I'm happy with what I've done (35 lbs.) but there's so much more to go. Hopefully soon...

Oh, before I forget: the big news for this weekend has been postponed to next Thursday so I'll keep you posted then.

As seen by my Twitter status, I scored a new coffee pot from the office as they bought a new one after thinking that the old one was broken. After bringing it home and cleaning it well, I've got it making the perfect pot of coffee again. :) Yay for free stuff!

I'm not going to make a speech about politics but let me suffice it all to say that I'm ready for this election to be over. Even though I know there will be disputes and bickering long into their presidency, I'm ready to just hurry up and vote and get somebody in there.

Ok, I'm tired and getting groggy and that means soon, I'll be incoherent. So I better end this while I am still speaking somewhat consciously. :) Blessings to you all through the rest of your week!

~B
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Proverbs 30:18

P.S. I Was Right

The last piece of pumpkin bread is being eaten as I type...

It's A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

Yes, I hear you singing along. :) Thank you Mr. Rogers!

Today really is a beautiful day in my neighborhood and I hope it is in yours too. The temperatures have definitely dipped, especially at night, and I haven't had my thermostat on in 3 days. I love what this weather does to my electric bill (which I just remembered is due).

I'm wearing one of my AWESOME STEALS from my shopping extravangza to Sherman last weekend-a purple and cream wide-striped, button sweater hoodie that I got for $9.99! (And to my mother, I'm sorry that I am breaking my cardinal rule of wearing horizontal stripes but this was too cute to pass up. Pictures will follow shortly as evidence.) Not to mention that I paired said sweater with my perfect dark wash, boot-cut denim pants (not jeans) and high heel boots. I love when I feel this cute! (Because it's a rare feeling, folks.)

Last night was the annual fundraiser gala for the Paris Pregnancy Care Center and since I work with one of the board members, she invited me and the guests of my choice. So I attended with 4 girls from church and we had a great time. Volunteers had decorated the civic center very tastefully for the event and the food was DELICIOUS-pork bbq, red hot apples (made with real candy Red Hots), chicken creole, au gratin potatoes, pasta salad & raspberry vinagrette green salad. Not to mention the mexican cornbread, cranberry bread and mini-dessert pastries (banana pudding, chocolate strawberry & coconut cream). And after having stuffed myself to the slightly uncomfortable point, we heard the very inspiring story of Donna Paul, sister-in-law to the presidential candidate, Ron Paul. She is a nurse who has worked extensively with Dr. Paul during his time in practice and her story of choosing to carry her date-rape pregnancy full-term and then giving up her son for adoption only to reunite with him 38 years later was heart-warming. This son had flown in from the state of Washington to hear the speech and there were very few dry eyes in the house. The testimonies of the girls (Anglo, African-American and Hispanic) who have been helped by this minstry were inspiring and stirred my spirit in my desire to serve. What a great cause and a great evening!

Today I'm heading to Arlington to spend time with Z and his fam. I'm accompanying him and the youth intern at their church to a "Hell House" (I hate that term). It's basically a Christian haunted house that presents the message of salvation to teenagers in a relevant manner. Check it out: www.darkrailhellhouse.com. It's my first event to "chaperone" w/Z but it should be good. I'm excited! Tomorrow, his fam is cooking out since his sister's fiancee will be in town. I can't wait-they are such good cooks but I'm just hoping the upside down german chocolate cake I baked last night will make it untouched to Arlington. It looks SOOO good!

Of course this weekend will fly by all too quickly and since my Sunday will be spent teaching Sunday School, singing Christmas songs with the children, and churchin' it up, I'm sure Monday will be here before I can blink my eyes. There's big news for next weekend and no it's not that I'm fulfilling everyone's wishes and dressing up as Little Bo Peep for Halloween. I actually have NO plans for Friday night-which is amazing. I usually have at least one event lined up but it might be a good chance for Girls' Me Night In. The news is for Saturday but I can't post it here. Not sure when I will or if I will but should all go well, it's definitely when.

Ok, so this a long post and most of you have probably given up on finishing it (except you, Mom because you have to be able to call me and talk about your verbose daughter) but here's a last piece of info up for discussion. My little bro-the tech geek of the fam-just texted and said he bought an old iphone for $100 that he might part with soon and wants to know if I'm interested. What are your thoughts people??? I've never seen an iphone up close and personal in real life much less touched one. Should I do it?


Enjoy a beautiful weekend full of God's bountious blessings!

Love to all,
B
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

AUTUMN

The 1st cold front of the season is moving through & I'm SO excited! Highs in the 60's for the next couple of days. And I baked my first loaf of pumpkin bread last night! It will be gone by the weekend. :) I love everything about Autumn-the leaves, the weather, the symbols (pumpkins, hay, apples, cornucopias)-EVERYTHING!

Happy harvest everyone!

Blessings,
B
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

I Think I Have Slight Paranoia

It's official.

I do NOT know how to be in a relationship.

Does that annoy anyone else besides me and my boyfriend? Probably not. Well, maybe my mother since she tends to be the soundboard for all my drama-especially the self-inflicted kind. Sorry Mom.

I have this problem with internalizing EVERYTHING. Which isn't a problem when it's just me I'm internalizing things about. But when you're in a relationship, internalizing things about the relationship is not good.

(And that's when those of you who have been in a relationship longer than me=more than 3 months-says DUH!)

So last night I got upset over something semi-trivial between me & Z. His decision was made out of pure intentions and would even give us a glimpse into our future. Why wasn't I happy with that??? Because I'm a little lot selfish and sometimes usually only think about what is best for me. But I realize now that this task Z signed us up for is key for us getting a taste of our future in ministry together so I'm more than happy to accompany him. The problem is that instead of sharing my feelings of frustration last night, I internalized them and he had no idea that I was upset. Not healthy for a budding romance. And not fair to him either. We've been EXTREMELY open in our communication up to now and it wasn't fair for me to keep this from him.

So I came clean this AM and being the absolute doll that he is, he acted in total forgiveness and grace. So we've cleared things up. I just need a little Relationship Fairy that will tap me on the shoulder to let me know when I'm doing/saying things that are detrimental to my boyfriend.

Anybody know one that's looking for work since I'm pretty sure Tinkerbell is booked???

It's Nice To Meet You

Her name was Shirley Faye Early although I didn't know that when I saw her.

As I drove back to the office after a relaxing lunch hour, I passed her as I took my turn by the Mexican restaurant as I do every day. A few minutes early, I planned to clock in and regain a few of the minutes I had lost by being late this morning-as I am almost every day. But as I saw the little lady, dressed in red, hands full of grocery bags walking feebly down that street, my eyes took a second glance and then my heart began to pound. And that's when I knew this was my chance-my chance to make a difference.

Since most of you readers aren't part of my everyday life, I'll fill you in. Lately my prayers have been all about making a difference. Yes, I stay busy and yes, most of the things I do to stay busy have to do with God's work. And while I realize that church work does make a difference, my desire is to actually make a difference for individuals-to shine Jesus' light for them to see. Which is how I met Shirley Faye Early.

So as I found the nearest semi-circle drive, a million thoughts ran through my mind. My mom and her stories of picking up pedestrians who appeared in need... The countless warnings she and my dad had given me when I started driving about picking up strangers... But none of that mattered now. I knew I was meant to pick up that little, feeble woman. I turned around and pulled up beside her on the side street she was now walking. I could smell that she hadn't had a good bath in days and she was missing most, if not all of her teeth but the way she called me "dear" broke my heart for this kind woman. After accepting my offer for a ride, she showed me her right hand which had numerous stitches along the proximal joint of her pinky finger and explained that she had to be careful and that's why she was walking so slow. She directed me to the apartment complex where she lived and even helped me dodge the potholes along the street that ran in front of it.

As we pulled up to the row she lived in, I offered to help her get the groceries in (including the loaf of bread that had been mashed during the first part of her trek home) and we made our way to her home-a small one bedroom, one bath musty-smelling apartment. It appeared clean, just cluttered with artifacts that evidenced a full life history. I was only there briefly and didn't take much in but as I told her thank you for allowing me to drive her, I asked her name.

"Shirley, Shirley Faye Early," came the reply and I felt her arms wrap around me in the tightest embrace I've felt in a long time.

"God bless you, Ms. Early," I responded as I headed out the door. "You too," was her response and I uttered a "see you later" and was gone.

Why this seemingly small incident has affected me to such depth, I have no idea. Except that I know it was a "God moment". I truly believe He used this event to remind me of my passion for serving others-even in the smallest of ways. Sure it cost me about 5 minutes of my time and a little effort but other than that, this favor was free. It didn't even incur a gallon of gasoline. So why am I not doing these things more often???

Because I'm selfish. I'm spoiled. I'm self-absorbed. I go through my daily routine and do what pleases me, what makes me happy, what satisfies me. And I get defensive if I start feeling prompted to do more because "I'm already sacrificing so much for the church." Here's the thing though: God doesn't need me to save the church; He needs me to save the lost. Churched people have already found Him, or at least are on their way and have found a safe refuge with the opportunity to do so. But people in the world are far more vulnerable to Satan and his lies and deceit. So I must be His hands and feet. I must speak His words and give His hugs. I must give the gifts of hope and joy to a dying and depressed world. Not only does it help those who are searching but it fulfills me.

And through the help of my Jesus, my minute efforts can be grandiose gestures for the Shirley Faye Earlys of the world.

What's In A Name?

Bethany Ann Pearce

That's my name. Don't wear it out.

Growing up, I've had more than my share of nicknames and for the most part, I love them. Being called by so many terms of endearment makes me feel loved and helps me know that I mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Here's just a few...

*BAP to all my high school friends
*Bethany Ann to my mother when she is mad
*Bet to my dad
*Boo to a church friend in high school
*BP to a former boss
*BB to my 2nd family
*Betania to my Spanish/Brazilian friends
*Bethany Pearcey to a former boss & an ex
*Betty to an old college roommate
*Betney to another old roommate
*Anne to my French classmates
*Brittany to some confused elderly people
*Thunder Thighs to a "dear" friend
*Heifer to some other "precious" friends

And those are just a few. Over the years I've been called just about any variation of Bethany or BAP you can think of. My least favorite? Beth. Yes, that's worse to me than either of the last 2 I listed. I happen to like my full name and hate the shortened version. But most of the time, I can be called by any of those names or variations and I will answer. Any person could call any of them and I'd come running. And the funny thing is that I'd probably be able to tell who was calling me just by the choice of name used.

I think that's how God is too.

During my prayer times lately I've been thinking about all the names of God. I'm definitely not a theologian but I know a few and what they mean and have been very interested to learn more. What is so amazing to me is that my God, the God who led the Israelites out of Egypt and eventually into the Promised Land, who sent prophecies through His servants proclaiming the coming of His only Son to save all humanity to eternal life, who gave up His most prized possession, who orchestrated all of the miracles of the new Testament and who has sustained His followers throughout history hears me, my feeble cry when I simply whisper His name-Jesus.

That astounds me.

And not only does He hear the whispered prayers, but He responds to my angry wailing, my grateful shouting and my heartfelt praising. He knows exactly what I (or anyone else for that matter) need just by the name I call Him. He hears me if I call Him by Jesus or any of His other countless names. Some of my favorites are:

*Adonai: Sovereign Lord
*El Shaddai: All-Sufficient God
*El Roi: God who sees me
*Immanuel: God with us
*Jehovah Rophe: The Lord our Healer
*Jehovah Jireh: The Lord our Provider
*Jehovah Nissi: The Lord our Banner
*Jehovah Shammah: The Lord is Present
*Jehovah Tsidkenu: The Lord our Righteousness

There are so many more (and I encourage you to become aware of them) but these are just the first ones that come to mind. I am comforted that God, my God, can be so many things to me. Better yet, He can be so many things to so many people all at the same time. I am quite honestly in awe that the God of the universe, who created all things and all beings, takes time to give me His attention and not just that but the presence of His Holy Spirit is so vast that it is all around the globe yet even within me. How does this happen? How can it be?

But that's the beauty of our Lord and our faith. He is infinite and unfathomable. Our human finite minds cannot comprehend the vastness of deity that He is. And you know, even though that frustrates me so much, it's comforting at the same time. Because in knowing that He is such an incomprehensible God, I am reminded that He is so much bigger than me and more knoweldgeable that I am. His daily view is of the big picture of our lives, of the universe. And even though He doesn't get bogged down with daily 'junk', He is concerned with the details of my life. And of yours.

That is so mind-boggling to me and yet I am grateful. My feeble words could never express the gratitude I have for my Lord, my God, my Jesus. It is my prayer that you will find Him to be all that you, your heart, could ever need or want.

Blessings,
B
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. " Isaiah 55:8-9

Just A Thought...

Is it abnormal that the thought of running away and starting a new life somewhere completely different excites me to no end???

And I Think To Myself, What A Wonderful World

Another week has started and I've made my first 'To Do' list of the week. Luckily it isn't too long but it is growing by the hour. It's funny how randomly I think of things to add. That's not the only thing growing either. My grocery list is getting a little lengthy but I'm trying to hold out until the next payday. Times are tight and I must conserve where I can. Good thing I love brown rice-I have a brand new box of it. Another good thing? Gas is at $2.61 here which means I can fill up my tank for about $30.00. YAY!!! As a co-worker stated-maybe our prayers are working. And since I serve a God who hears our prayers and does answer, that is a definite possibility.

I enjoyed a great weekend with Z. We spent some quality time with his parents. They took me to Zaxby's for my birthday and I enjoyed being with them. They are very kind and generous people. His gift to me-Willow Tree "Promise" figurine. His parents' gift to me: Willow Tree "Love", "Peace", & "Joy" figurines.

We were up late Friday (as usual) and so we got up late Saturday. Headed straight to lunch at an amazing pizza place (BJ's) and then Z and I spent some quality time together just walking around window shopping and laughing and talking. That was probably one of the best days I've spent with him ever. There was a rhythm to our relationship and we just enjoyed being relaxed together. I will say, he is a patient shopper. I doubt he was enjoying it at all but he never let me know it. I think we were both just so grateful to be together after the emotional rollercoaster of last week. There's just something pricelessly soothing about having face time with a person.

So after walking around for a while we went and saw his mom at work and she was generous enough to buy me some great clothes and earrings. I owe her big time. We headed home and got there just as his dad and brother were finishing feeding the puppies they have. Their female hunting dog had puppies 3 weeks ago and then died a few days after giving birth so the puppies (there were 9, now there are 7) have to be bottle-fed. They are so cute and small-I can't remember the last time I held one but it definitely brought back memories of my childhood.

Z and I then had some PT during which he opened his birthday gift from me. After we celebrated a bit, we spent some time with his fam and were up late talking...again. But I don't mind the sacrifice since I don't get to see him much. I left around 5:30 Sunday morning and came home to 2 awesome church services, a good Sunday School class, and an excellent drama rehearsal. God is so good and I am amazed at how quickly He can turn things around. I truly believe that since Z & I worked through some issues and are getting our focus and priorities in order, God will recognize our efforts and reward them. I am just so thankful that I don't get what I do deserve (mercy) and I do get what I don't deserve (grace). I could not possibly be more blessed.

So with that, I'll sign off. More updates throughout the week. May each of you experience His presence in a new, exciting way this week.

Blessings,
B
Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. Psalm 84:10

100 Things You May Or May Not Know About Me

And now for something a little more uplifting...

As if you didn't learn enough about me during TI30, here I am with this. It is a common practice in 'blogland' for writers to list 100 pieces of informationi about themselves to commemorate their 100th post. Well, I'm hitting that milestone and you're the lucky readers that get to learn more than you ever wanted to know about yours truly, moi.

So, ready or not, here we go...

1. Do not talk to me before I've had my shower in the morning. It won't be pretty.
2. I keep my toothbrush wrapped in a tissue to keep the other "bathroom germs" off it.
3. In order to keep other "bathroom germs" to a minimum, I only flush the toilet if the lid is down.
4. I have a discolored tooth due to a small indentation that was in said tooth. I had it filled my senior year of high school and the dentist matched the filler with my tooth color at the time. Let's just say, they're a lot whiter now. :)
5. I mix a minimum of 2 cereals together when I eat it-Great Value Toasted Oats (cheap-o Cheerios) & Just Bunches (of the famed Honey Bunches of Oats).
6. Growing up, my family always had 2 kinds of tea (sweet & unsweet) & 2 kinds of milk (skim & 1%) in our fridge.
7. I've kissed 7 guys in my lifetime.
8. I've only seriously dated 5 of said guys.
9. I once dated a guy I never kissed.
9. I have a certain routine that I follow in the shower (shampoo, condition, loofah, rinse conditioner, shave-on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, & Sundays, wash face).
10. I have a certain routine that I follow in many venues of life that I will save you from having to read here.
11. I make 'To Do' lists almost every day.
12. Most things on those lists get carried over from day to day until I get a burst of energy and cross off a bunch of things in one day.
13. I have 25+ folders into which I organize my e-mails.
14. I (think) I graduated 9th (academically) out of 234 in my high school class.
15. I graduated cum laude from college.
16. I'm lucky God allowed me to borrow Jesus' brain on test days when I didn't/forgot to study. #s 14 & 15 were definite God moments.
17. I've been called to serve in ministry alongside my husband, who will be in full-time ministry.
18. I have a peace plant named Bradley (after the county in TN I used to live in) who I've only almost killed once. Those things are invincible.
19. I've been working pretty much continuously since the time I was 14-doctor's office, 3 real estate offices, music library at college, daycare, day camp, tutoring, teaching Spanish, nannying, accounting for construction company, university, and insurance office.
20. My very 1st car was a white, 1990 Geo Prism that I shared with my dad. My mom totaled it and that's when I got my Saturn.
21. My biggest fear when I first got my drivers' license was that I wouldn't be able to talk & drive at the same time. Ha! How wrong/naive I was. At present, I've been known to eat, talk on the phone, apply makeup, adjust the music and drive at the same time. :) I've got good insurance.
22. I love spring & autumn. The changing of seasons invigorates me. I love that 1st warm spring evening or that 1st cool autumn evening.
23. My favorite color is pink.
24. In my lifetime, I have broken an arm, a leg and a toe. Two of those injuries involved roller skates.
25. I've also stepped on a rusty nail and had to be on crutches for a few days.
26. I cried like a baby during the final episode of 90210.
27. I cried like a baby during the season premiere of the final season of ER-Pratt died. Seriously.
28. A little piece of my heart died when 7th Heaven went off the air. Thank God for re-runs.
29. I want to work in an environment like the one on "The Office". Some days, I think I already do. I mainly want to work there so I can participate in Office Olympics.
30. My 2nd car was a burgundy 1997 Saturn SL2. I loved that little car. It saw me through a lot-NC, TN & into TX. I retired her at 143,000 miles and bought my silver 2004 Honda CRV.
31. I am addicted to organization. Nothing satisfies me more than putting events on a calendar. :)
32. I was a vegetarian for about 7 years. During the first part, I was lacto-ovo (only dairy products) and the latter part, I ate chicken.
33. My mother blames my weight on the fact that I ate potatoes all the time during my veggie years.
34. I blame my weight on lack of portion control, lack of exercise, love of sweets and big bones.
35. I am slightly addicted to FOX News.
36. My mother also says I am a glutton when it comes to shoes & purses. I agree.
37. I took four years of French & four years of Spanish in high school.
38. I double minored in college in Religion and Spanish.
39. College for me = 5 years, 5 schools, 5 majors
40. My parents almost did a Jericho march when I graduated. (If you don't know what a Jericho march is, refer to Joshua 7.)
41. I don't really have a favorite flower. I love roses, lilies, tulips, and many, many more.
42. I talk to my Mom and/or Dad almost daily.
43. I fall hard for musicians-especially keyboardists.
44. I sing-probably considered a semi-high-church/semi-contemporary musician.
45. I wish I'd been blessed with 1/2 the piano talent of my father. He's amazing!
46. I wear a size 10 shoe.
47. I'm not telling my clothing size.
48. A famous saying between me and my mom is "What are mothers for?". I only hope I can say it to my daughter as much as she's said it to me.
49. My parents really are my heroes. I adore them beyond words.
50. My brothers are the comic relief in my life. Family dinners are the BEST at my house.
51. Sunday lunches after church are some of my favories memories of my childhood.
52. My dad was a twin. Since that gene is said to skip a generation, it is now my turn to have twins. : \
53. I find the greatest satisfaction in helping people.
54. Getting dirty in any form is not exactly my idea of a good time. Muddin'??? Playin' in the rain??? NO.
55. Yes, I'm one of those people who spend entirely too much money at Wal-Mart.
56. MySpace and I have a love/hate relationship-some days I think it's a great networking tool, others I think it's a tool of the devil. But you can still look me up at myspace.com/bbap1.
57. My dream car used to be a baby pink Cadillac Escalade with pink fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview. :)
58. I prefer sentimental & heartfelt over latest trend ANY day.
59. My dream job used to be the minister of music in my home church-I would just take over my dad's position after he retired.
60. I depend on other people in my life to keep me up to date on the latest music. I'm usually still listening to hits from 6 months to a year ago.
61. Confrontation causes me to hyperventilate. Really.
62. I love other people's beautiful children. Having my own? I'm not so sure yet.
63. During high school, I had a slight addiction to Pepsi. I've overcome it but sometimes I just have a craving for an ice-cold Pepsi. (Have you noticed that all of my addictions are "slight"?)
64. Things I have collected in the past: sunflowers, Winnie-the-Pooh, hippopotamuses/hippopotami/whatever the plural is. Yes, you read that right.
65. I was raised Southern Baptist (since my dad is an associate/music pastor) but am now a "tongue-talker" aka Pentecostal-Church of God. And no, Maidenites, I haven't taken "Tongue Talking 101" or "Snake Handling 101". Yet.
66. I have an abnormal fear of something happening to people close to me. When I was a kid, I would lay awake in my bed listening for the garage door to close so that I'd know everyone was safe at home. Now that I've moved away, I get a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach when anyone from my family calls me in the middle of the day. I just know that they're calling to give me awful news. So far...nothing.
67. I have never been to Disneyworld or Disneyland. Yes, I'm deprived.
68. To beat that, when I broke my leg in 5th grade, my parents told me that they had to use the money they were planning to use to take us to Disneyworld, to pay for my injury.
69. I have an abnormal fear of stopping under overpasses or on bridges while driving.
70. Yes, I do indeed enjoy Hip Hop Abs w/Shawn T & Tae Bo w/Billy.
71. Yes, it is funny to watch me do either. But it is funnier to watch me do pilates. :)
72. I love giving gifts. It's def my top love language. Unfortunately, my bank account accurately portrays this truth.
73. I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with friends via telephone. Ask any of the ones I have from my past-I need a support group.
74. A lady named Yami in NC used to give me pedicures and let me practice my Spanish at the same time. I miss those pedis!
75. While I love praise and worship music, there will always be a special place in my heart reserved for hymns. And my heart dances a little jig every time a contemporary Christian artist 'covers' a hymn.
76. I'm a closet granny-house-shoe wearer. You know, the ones that look like ballet slippers and have ribbons on the toe.
77. I possess a fondness for Mexican food, Italian food, and the occasional greasy bacon cheeseburger.
78. My palm treo phone is my LIFE. It has over 500 contact #s in it. Don't ask me why, it just does. I surprise myself with whose numbers I have.
79. I am NOT an animal person. When I was little, I killed every hamster, goldfish (2 I remember named Cletus & Willis), and bird I ever had. My brother and I even used to put our hamsters in those clear exercise balls and roll them down the stairs. Then we'd roll them up to the sliding glass door where our cat liked to sit. Yes, we were cruel. I realize that now.
80. I used to have a recurring nightmare in which a witch-like lady chased me and kept running after me making her fingers into a one inch square saying that if she caught me, she would cut me up into pieces that small.
81. My other recurring nightmare involved a tsunami on the beach. To this day, I am terrified by huge waves. And we won't even mention the movie The Day After Tomorrow.
82. I hate tuna.
83. My favorite fruit is the pomegranate. I love almost every fruit-minus raisins and prunes.
84. Pillsbury pumpkin bread mix is one of my absolute faves!
85. My fave cereal of the moment (which I sometimes eat for dinner) is Just Bunches by Post.
86. I still own and know how to use my VCR. And I still record shows on it because I'm too cheap to upgrade my cable and get DVR.
87. I've been out of the country once, to Brazil in 1998 when I was 14 on a mission trip with Brio magazine.
88. Screaming babies in public make me never want to have kids. Ever.
89. My all-time favorite restaurant is Zaxby's. I can't believe it didn't come up before now. Wow.
90. My two brothers and I were all born during church related events. I was born on the same day that my older brother was a ring bearer in a wedding and also on the day before the church homecoming. My older brother was born during the middle of revival. My little brother was born during VBS. (Mom, if that's not right, tell me.)
91. As a teenager, I got left at my best friend's house numerous times after church since she lived next door to the church. My mom would think I was with my dad and my dad would think I was with my mom.
92. If you don't like my driving, blame it on the fact that I thought I was cool as I practiced in the church parking lot in that 1990 Geo Prism. Would you believe that little car could do some pretty sweet donuts? :)
93. I have never seen the movie Titanic.
94. My blonde hair is from a bottle but it was very blonde-almost white-when I was very young.
95. Men's cologne is one of my favorite scents. If I could wear it and not be considered a freak, I totally would.
96. I consider myself to have a classic sense of style.
97. I used to dream of being a contemporary Christian musician. Or at least one of the few female bass guitar players.
98. Originally, I wanted a 5-carat, platinum ring from my future husband. My father talked me down to 3. I'm not sure how much lower I'm willing to go but I think with the right man, I'll gladly accept a Cracker Jack box ring.
99. Seeing leaves change their colors reminds me that my God is a master artist.
100. Every day I am reminded of how blessed I truly am. I serve a big God who is concerned with my smallest needs and is faithful to me even though I don't deserve it. I am surrounded by family and friends who love, support and encourage me through all my crazy antics and phases of life. I have never been in absolute need. I have shelter over my head, clothes on my back, food in my tummy and love in my heart. I owe all that I am and all that I have to the God of the universe, the Master of the sea, the Lover of my soul.

Blessings,
B
Psalm 139 1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. 5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. 19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! 20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you? 22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Advice Overload

When it comes to important, life-altering decisions, I love getting advice from other people. Problem is, I love getting advice from other people so much that I sometimes lose my own opinion and voice among all the others I'm hearing. Biggest problem is, I forget to seek advice from the only person who knows the final outcome of my life-the Lord.

I've been stretched to my emotional limit max as of late and haven't dealt with it well. There are so many situations that are very unstable in my life right now and as a result of that instability, I have become an unstable person. I know I've been running the opposite direction of the way I need to be but life (for many people including myself) has gotten so hard lately.

So now, I'm searching for what I feel, what I want, what I need. And I don't really want any more unsolicited (and at times, even solicited) advice. Because that just results in me feeling very torn between what I feel, in both my head and my heart, and the other opinions that are expressed. I've got to seek the ultimate Organizer of my life, my Agent. I need to find out what He has me scheduled for so that I can hurry up and get on with it.

I realize this hasn't been the most uplifting post (and it may not have made any sense to some of you reading) but I'm not really sorry about it. We all have ups and downs, good and bad. Today just happens to be one of my "off" days. And now that I'm taking a stand and am going to make a conscientious effort to be more of the woman God created me to be, I'm expecting the turnaround. And the God I serve, is large and in charge-of my life and my future.

Political Sentiments

Just a quick political rant. I try not to share too many of my political views lest it be proven that I am a politcal novice-even though the whole government/political scene really intrigues me.

While watching The O'Reilly Factor (hosted by FOX news' Bill O'Reilly) I was struck with this brilliant idea:

Bill O'Reilly should run for president.

Honestly people, I'm starting to agree with some of my colleagues who expressed this sentiment yesterday: Out of more than 300 million residents of the United States, are Obama & McCain really the best candidates we have to offer for President? Like many people I converse with, I am not impressed with either option. Neither one has made any profound presentation that has won my devout loyalty and so, with the rest of America, I wait. And I pray. And then I wait some more.

But as I watched Mr. O'Reilly last night, I really identified with his passion and zeal to help the average American people. His re-cap of the debate and how he desired for both senators to express some aggression in their road to the White House was exactly how I felt. I wasn't able to watch much of the debate when it aired live but the clips I've seen and the coverage the election has received since have not shown me a person who is going to stand up and fight for anything. Understandably, a candidate must have an even-temper and not be easily angered but I believe even just a little emotion is not just appropriate but is called for.

So Bill, when are you gonna go out on a limb and and take the chance??? I know you've already got my vote!