CHANGE IS HARD.
Yeah, yeah. I know after such a long period of silence you probably want to read something a bit more revolutionary. But I'm sticking to what I know and I know change is hard.
There's a lot in my life that seems to be changing. Actually, the majority of what is changing is me. If you had asked me even just 3 months ago where I thought I'd be by Thanksgiving, I don't know exactly what I would have said but I certainly wouldn't have anticipated being here of all places.
Now, I know what you're thinking (Mom) and no, I'm not moving. This week anyway. My life just seems to have taken off on a spin of it's own, completely out of my control. Which, if you know me at all, is very unprecedented. I'm usually on top of things and have a plan for at least the next 7.2 weeks. But somehow, there is a plan that is being laid out before me that is not my own. And well, my only conclusion is that the other Person who is control of my life must be laying it out. And for once, I'm ok with that.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs and a wee bit skeert but overall, there's a calming Voice assuring me that 'This is how it's supposed to be.' So I just keep walking and trusting, my hand in His.
I read an article this morning, well, really a blog from Jeremi Richardson of the group Avalon. In his writing, Jeremi recounts reading Dr. Randy Pausch's book (author of The Last Lecture) and reconsidering all the 'brick walls' in his life. Over the past year, give or take a few months, I've made lots of plans only to meet, in many cases, a brick wall. So many times, I consider those brick walls a stopping point, concluding that if I meet such a wall, then what's on the other side must not be meant for me and my life. But Jeremi poses some good thoughts that he gleaned from Dr. Pausch's book about those walls, especially this one:
Brick walls are there for a reason, they let us prove how badly we want something.
So I'm left with questions. And driven to this prayer:
Lord,
Help me accept the brick walls that signify an end to my journey in that direction. Help me continue to persevere in the direction of those that signify simply an obstacle to prove my desire for what's on the other side. But most importantly Lord, give me the discernment to identify which is which and the wisdom to know the difference. I trust You.
Your daughter,
Bethany.
Here's hoping that you'll be able to pray a similar prayer soon.
Blessings,
Bethany
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
No comments:
Post a Comment