Z

A quick post before I try to find sleep...for the 2nd time tonight. The 1st time was no prob since I was on the couch & had just eaten. I definitely accidentally slept for 2 hours. Seriously, I MUST stop the evening naps.

Anyway, I just wanted to share how proud I am of Z. The past 6 months have been a whirlwind ride for us both and I never thought we'd be where we are today both geographically and relationally but I'm really glad we are. We've both seen hard times in those 6 months but we've seen each other through them and are both stronger for them. And now we're on the precipice of a brand new chapter in both of our lives, an important one for our life together and even though I'm scared, there is peace that passes understanding.

This new step has been in the making for months now-from the engagement to applying for positions to talking with pastors to traveling for interviews to being vulnerable with people and the Lord to LOTS of prayer time to stepping out in faith and accepting the call. And I can honestly say that I've had little to nothing to do with this whole process. I just showed up when I needed to and said prayers of faith that God would work it out. Of course, we sought His will and felt a certain connection with the people and church in Tyler so it wasn't such a hard decision to make but it was still a giant step of faith and true test of our commitment to each other and to follow Him wherever He leads.

But Z has been more than wonderful throughout the whole ordeal. He made the e-mails and phone calls to speak with pastors. He put himself out there for others to critique and question. He considered the pros and cons of each church we applied for. He recognized the sacrifices required yet still proceeded and answered 'yes' when the call came. And I know that even though the timing was right for him to break away from his family and start blazing his own trail, a lot of the reason he even ventured to seek a position was for me, to prepare for our future and secure us a place in ministry.

Looking back, I see God's hand working throughout this step in the journey (as I always do) but this time, I'm looking back on a step in the journey of my future husband's faith. He has willingly laid down his desires and comfort zone to do what he knew God was calling him to and what was best for others that would be affected, namely me. He is such a self-sacrificing young man and his attentiveness to me astounds me every day. There has never been a time that he hasn't asked my feelings or recognized a change in my attitude when something is wrong. And there has also never been a time when he didn't do everything in his power to reassure me, comfort me, and allow me to lean on him-even in his times of doubt or concern.

Though I may be biased, I believe God created the best man in the world for me to marry and share my life and love with. He is more than I dreamed I would ever have in a husband and I'm reminded daily that I am blessed beyond measure to have an intelligent, moral, funny, charming, handsome, adorable, hard working, GODLY future husband. And although hard times are inevitable (especially in ministry), I am certain that he and I are destined to spend the rest of this life together as we hold hands with our Father as He leads the way.

Z, I love you and respect you as a man of God and the love of my life. Your sacrifice is great but your reward will be greater. You are God's chosen servant and I am privileged to share my life with you. My love for you is eternal and unconditional. I look forward to the memories we will make and the impact we will have on our world. You have my heart forever.

Blessings,
B
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Song of Solomon 2:7b