Lemme just keep this short & sweet.
I set a personal best in the gym tonight: 12 minutes of jogging. That may not sound like much to a lot of people but to this 287 pound girl, it's a lot. And while it wasn't one long 12 minute stint (it was 7 and then 5), I'm pretty darn proud. You know why?
It's proof that I can do this.
It's proof that my body can handle it.
It's proof that I don't have to stay a 287 pound girl.
And one day, I won't be. You know why?
I'm taking it 12 minutes at a time.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I'm really tired...
Of writing entries that I never post. That's been going on for a while now. But it is no more.
About 12 days ago, I hit my breaking point. Not with life but with myself. I am DONE being the fat girl. I am DONE being the fat friend. I am DONE thinking about all the time I've wasted being lazy and self-serving rather than being active and self-denying. And so, as of June 14, I'm officially on the quest for healthiness. I wanted to write as soon as I made that decision but I also know that I move very prematurely sometimes.
So I waited. Then I waited. And I waited just a bit more.
And while 12 days is still not very long, I can feel and see a change in myself this time. Out of the past 11 days (my resolution was made late in the evening on day 1), I have been in the gym 10 days. I have a system, a rotation of sorts that helps me get in enough cardio and strength training. Hopefully on Monday, I'll be starting 2 a days meaning I'll be in the gym 2 times a day. With my summer work schedule (9am-2pm Monday through Thursday) I feel I'll be able to complete that challenge even though it is something I've never tried before. Heck, being in the gym once a day is barely something I've ever done before.
Paired with my time in the gym, I've also taken on healthier eating habits. Gone are the days of eating out twice a day or eating an entire entree by myself. Gone are the days of coming home from work and vegging on chips, Oreos or cake. Lately, my choices include more protein, fruits and veggies. I'm drinking more water and am trying to consume less processed food. A typical day of eating looks like this...
8:30am - 2 egg omelet w/ .25 cup cheddar cheese on .5 sandwich thin (This keeps me full for at least 4 hours.)
12:00 or 12:30pm - Carrot sticks with honey mustard; a turkey sandwich and yogurt; or a protein shake
5:00 or 6:00pm - Healthy dinner of something like nachos, oven-baked chicken tenders w/potatoes, veggie stir-fry w/brown rice, etc.
9:00pm - Snack of fruit & whipped cream or a cookie (Z has been making them lately)
That may not look like a lot but it's keeping me on my 1500 calories target and keeps me full all day. I think I'm most proud of this accomplishment.
To help me keep up with everything, I've been using an awesome app/online tool (MFP-myfitnesspal.com) and I'm aiming to hit 1500 calories per day. After setting up my basic profile, MFP tracks my food intake and keeps me on target for calorie, fat, carb, & protein intake. It has basically every food you can think of in its database and even has a way to just add calories if you know those and the food is not in the database. In addition to food, it also tracks water intake as well as daily exercise. The exercise database calculates the calories burned by an exercise in its database and then refigures the total number of calories per day by adding calories burned by exercise to the preset calorie goal. I can also weigh in and it will track my weight loss as well as having a community to use for encouragement, recipes, etc.
I'm hoping that all of the above mentioned items will create a 'perfect storm'. In the past, I have definitely started this journey and ended it basically before it even began but this time is different. I will not remain a 287 pound woman for the rest of my life. I am committed to being healthy for myself and my family (present and future). I was made for more than what I am now and only when I rely on God and push myself to continue this journey will I succeed. Failure is not an option and that's how I intend to think for the rest of my life. Which leads me to my way of thinking-a topic I'll be writing on next.
For now, I'm off to make the most of this Saturday afternoon and evening. And from me to you, make every step and every choice count!
Bethany
About 12 days ago, I hit my breaking point. Not with life but with myself. I am DONE being the fat girl. I am DONE being the fat friend. I am DONE thinking about all the time I've wasted being lazy and self-serving rather than being active and self-denying. And so, as of June 14, I'm officially on the quest for healthiness. I wanted to write as soon as I made that decision but I also know that I move very prematurely sometimes.
So I waited. Then I waited. And I waited just a bit more.
And while 12 days is still not very long, I can feel and see a change in myself this time. Out of the past 11 days (my resolution was made late in the evening on day 1), I have been in the gym 10 days. I have a system, a rotation of sorts that helps me get in enough cardio and strength training. Hopefully on Monday, I'll be starting 2 a days meaning I'll be in the gym 2 times a day. With my summer work schedule (9am-2pm Monday through Thursday) I feel I'll be able to complete that challenge even though it is something I've never tried before. Heck, being in the gym once a day is barely something I've ever done before.
Paired with my time in the gym, I've also taken on healthier eating habits. Gone are the days of eating out twice a day or eating an entire entree by myself. Gone are the days of coming home from work and vegging on chips, Oreos or cake. Lately, my choices include more protein, fruits and veggies. I'm drinking more water and am trying to consume less processed food. A typical day of eating looks like this...
8:30am - 2 egg omelet w/ .25 cup cheddar cheese on .5 sandwich thin (This keeps me full for at least 4 hours.)
12:00 or 12:30pm - Carrot sticks with honey mustard; a turkey sandwich and yogurt; or a protein shake
5:00 or 6:00pm - Healthy dinner of something like nachos, oven-baked chicken tenders w/potatoes, veggie stir-fry w/brown rice, etc.
9:00pm - Snack of fruit & whipped cream or a cookie (Z has been making them lately)
That may not look like a lot but it's keeping me on my 1500 calories target and keeps me full all day. I think I'm most proud of this accomplishment.
To help me keep up with everything, I've been using an awesome app/online tool (MFP-myfitnesspal.com) and I'm aiming to hit 1500 calories per day. After setting up my basic profile, MFP tracks my food intake and keeps me on target for calorie, fat, carb, & protein intake. It has basically every food you can think of in its database and even has a way to just add calories if you know those and the food is not in the database. In addition to food, it also tracks water intake as well as daily exercise. The exercise database calculates the calories burned by an exercise in its database and then refigures the total number of calories per day by adding calories burned by exercise to the preset calorie goal. I can also weigh in and it will track my weight loss as well as having a community to use for encouragement, recipes, etc.
I'm hoping that all of the above mentioned items will create a 'perfect storm'. In the past, I have definitely started this journey and ended it basically before it even began but this time is different. I will not remain a 287 pound woman for the rest of my life. I am committed to being healthy for myself and my family (present and future). I was made for more than what I am now and only when I rely on God and push myself to continue this journey will I succeed. Failure is not an option and that's how I intend to think for the rest of my life. Which leads me to my way of thinking-a topic I'll be writing on next.
For now, I'm off to make the most of this Saturday afternoon and evening. And from me to you, make every step and every choice count!
Bethany
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Grab Your Gym Bag
I just got home from a good workout at the gym.
Now there's a statement I never thought I'd type. But yes, it is true. I've always been a little terrified of gyms-scared that everyone's pointing and laughing at me (on the inside) and there are so many machines with so many different uses that I felt like I would never get the hang of it. In the past, I've gone to the gym at my college, two at different churches but this is the first fitness center that I have ever joined and paid for. Back in December, when I was really wanting to make a change in my health, we found Premier Fitness which we tried out for a few weeks (thanks to the management) and really came to like. They have a very diverse cardio area with numerous treadmills, ellipticals, stairclimbers and stationary bicycles. I've tried out all 4 of those and definitely enjoy the treadmill the most: a) because I can walk all day long (after 2 minutes on the bikes or elliptical, I can barely breathe); b) almost every treadmill has its own tv so I can watch a good show to pass the time; c) I feel that I know how to control my workout better with the options on the machine.
In addition to different group fitness classes (i.e. Zumba, spinning, cardio) Premier also has a huge weight lifting floor with additional space set aside for improv workouts with stability balls, jump ropes, and mats. I really love machines that are free weight style and use them pretty regularly. I find they are much like the ones I first learned in middle school with that crazy P.E. teacher of mine, Ms. Carter.
Aha! I may have found the reason I've been so afraid of gyms. Ms. Carter was quite an interesting character as the softball coach who only shaved her legs up to her knees but always wore shorts a few inches above that. I remember her super tan legs with all that blond hair showing. Ugh! Anyway, during the weightlifting portion of gym class, we would do circuits and rotate through various stations in the weight room and I remember how much I hated that. Mainly because I was always the weakest person in the class and also because if we didn't do a certain station correctly, she would bark orders like she was the queen German Shepherd. And I suppose she was but it still scared me.
For me, working out has always been viewed as a chore, something that should be done even though it's not all that great. First you gotta figure out where to workout, then what time, find gym clothes/water bottle/ipod/good music, then decide if you're doing a full work out or going light, decide about joining a class, make sure you don't fall while you'e there, etc., etc., etc. But you know, sometimes you just have to do like Nike said and "Just do it!" I'm really trying to work on my attitude to improve my chances of success with staying in the gym. I just have to make myself do it. Today, I would have totally rather taken a nap but I laid down for about 10 minutes and then just made myself go. When I got there, I pushed myself and kept thinking (and believing) that I could succeed. I did. And that's what I have to keep doing. I believe that it will be key for me especially this summer when the temperatures are in the 100's and I'm not able to exercise much outside-'cause you know TX has some HOT summers! Anyway, I just want to encourage myself to stay in the gym-find the best time to workout and just do it. In the end, it is just like a friend of mine said, "Going to the gym makes you feel skinny even when you're not." Eventually, I will be. : )
Current weight: 291 lbs.
Goal weight: 175 lbs.
Total to lose: 116 lbs.
Still working toward healthiness,
Bethany
Now there's a statement I never thought I'd type. But yes, it is true. I've always been a little terrified of gyms-scared that everyone's pointing and laughing at me (on the inside) and there are so many machines with so many different uses that I felt like I would never get the hang of it. In the past, I've gone to the gym at my college, two at different churches but this is the first fitness center that I have ever joined and paid for. Back in December, when I was really wanting to make a change in my health, we found Premier Fitness which we tried out for a few weeks (thanks to the management) and really came to like. They have a very diverse cardio area with numerous treadmills, ellipticals, stairclimbers and stationary bicycles. I've tried out all 4 of those and definitely enjoy the treadmill the most: a) because I can walk all day long (after 2 minutes on the bikes or elliptical, I can barely breathe); b) almost every treadmill has its own tv so I can watch a good show to pass the time; c) I feel that I know how to control my workout better with the options on the machine.
Aha! I may have found the reason I've been so afraid of gyms. Ms. Carter was quite an interesting character as the softball coach who only shaved her legs up to her knees but always wore shorts a few inches above that. I remember her super tan legs with all that blond hair showing. Ugh! Anyway, during the weightlifting portion of gym class, we would do circuits and rotate through various stations in the weight room and I remember how much I hated that. Mainly because I was always the weakest person in the class and also because if we didn't do a certain station correctly, she would bark orders like she was the queen German Shepherd. And I suppose she was but it still scared me.
For me, working out has always been viewed as a chore, something that should be done even though it's not all that great. First you gotta figure out where to workout, then what time, find gym clothes/water bottle/ipod/good music, then decide if you're doing a full work out or going light, decide about joining a class, make sure you don't fall while you'e there, etc., etc., etc. But you know, sometimes you just have to do like Nike said and "Just do it!" I'm really trying to work on my attitude to improve my chances of success with staying in the gym. I just have to make myself do it. Today, I would have totally rather taken a nap but I laid down for about 10 minutes and then just made myself go. When I got there, I pushed myself and kept thinking (and believing) that I could succeed. I did. And that's what I have to keep doing. I believe that it will be key for me especially this summer when the temperatures are in the 100's and I'm not able to exercise much outside-'cause you know TX has some HOT summers! Anyway, I just want to encourage myself to stay in the gym-find the best time to workout and just do it. In the end, it is just like a friend of mine said, "Going to the gym makes you feel skinny even when you're not." Eventually, I will be. : )
Current weight: 291 lbs.
Goal weight: 175 lbs.
Total to lose: 116 lbs.
Still working toward healthiness,
Bethany
Saturday, March 12, 2011
10 Things
Inspired by a new blog I'm following, I decided to post my first 10 reasons I'm excited to reach my goal weight. Don't laugh (but it's ok if you do because I can't hear you).
1. Wearing a bikini
2. Pulling off the skinny jeans w/tall boots look
3. Outdoor running in cute workout clothes
4. Wearing cute dresses in the summer (even strapless!)
5. Taking dance classes/lessons (I'd love to take a hip-hop class)
6. Flying without having my hips invade the personal space of my neighbors
7. Having pretty underoos :)
8. Being able to go up a full flight of stairs without being winded
9. Having more energy to play and be active
10. Being able to cross my legs for extended periods of time without either of them falling asleep
What's keeping you motivated???
Good thoughts of success to you all, my loves!
Bethany
1. Wearing a bikini
2. Pulling off the skinny jeans w/tall boots look
3. Outdoor running in cute workout clothes
4. Wearing cute dresses in the summer (even strapless!)
5. Taking dance classes/lessons (I'd love to take a hip-hop class)
6. Flying without having my hips invade the personal space of my neighbors
7. Having pretty underoos :)
8. Being able to go up a full flight of stairs without being winded
9. Having more energy to play and be active
10. Being able to cross my legs for extended periods of time without either of them falling asleep
What's keeping you motivated???
Good thoughts of success to you all, my loves!
Bethany
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The 1st Step
It's been a while, huh? I'm not even going to try to make up for my absence nor recap my life over the past 11 months. I will just provide a few details about life as I now know it and then explain my reason for reappearance.
Life is good for Z & I. We're still in TX and I'm at the same charter school I've been at for about 1.5 years now. The only difference? Z works there now too. Actually, he's about 10 feet from me all day-we share a desk. While I'm still handling all things front office related (i.e. enrollment, school lunch program, parent requests, teacher requests, admin assistant-ish things), he's taking care of all things PEIMS (state reports) and is the attendance officer as well as assistant IT guy. He's been there since August and while I won't go into all the details, it really has been a blessing. We now both know what it's like to work in such a great environment with amazing (unwritten) benefits and under decent leadership. And our school is the first iSchool in Texas-check out ischoolcampus.org and cumberlandacademy.com (which will be new and improved very soon) for more details.
We are starting to be more faithful and get more involved in church after a brief hiatus for personal reasons. God is really beginning to stir our hearts in different areas and we're looking forward to what the future holds. There's also a new member of our family:
Meet Oscar. He's our 4 month old Yorkie that Z surprised me with for Valentine's day this year. We had fallen in love with the yorkie that some of our friends have and I had puppy fever. I figure, better a dog than a kid. Oscar is learning to use puppy pads and is a playful little guy even if he is the quietest. dog. ever. No barking or whining at his first vet visit (which included shots) and he's super laid back and loves to cuddle. (Z says he got the perfect dog for me-we love cuddling...see below.)
Now for the reason I'm back to blogging (and hopefully not making this entirely too long).
A few months ago, I really got my booty into gear with working out and eating healthier. Z & I were hitting the gym 5+ days a week and on Weight Watchers, I was doing great at keeping track of what I ate. I lost 12 pounds in 6 weeks and was feeling good. Until I got sick. And then, I used my sickness as an excuse. And have been even to this day.
I'm tired of the excuses and ridiculous reasons I come up with about not being able to eat right or not going to the gym. So this time, I'm becoming accountable. To you. But more importantly, to myself. I know I don't have many readers and I may never have more than my mom and my husband. But I figure if I at least start writing about my journey to healthiness, I can be aware of the person I am, the person I'm becoming and the decisions I make.
With these newest posts, I plan to have weigh-ins, post pictures, write reflections and summaries of how I'm spending my days and what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. I want to have some memories of my current life and be able to really see the transformation taking place-what better way to keep up with all of those things than the written word.
For the record, my heaviest weight was somewhere around 300 pounds. 300 POUNDS!!! Yes, you read that right. I'm not proud of that. Today, I hover around 290 and while I'm not obsessive about the numbers on a scale, my numbers OBVIOUSLY show I have a long road ahead of me. I'm back to tracking my food/activity on Weight Watchers and plan to let the gym kick my booty again soon. Join me if you'd like as I make this trek to a healthier life and if you choose not to, I'll just keep moving forward for the person it matters to the most: ME.
One step at a time, one choice at a time...
Bethany
Life is good for Z & I. We're still in TX and I'm at the same charter school I've been at for about 1.5 years now. The only difference? Z works there now too. Actually, he's about 10 feet from me all day-we share a desk. While I'm still handling all things front office related (i.e. enrollment, school lunch program, parent requests, teacher requests, admin assistant-ish things), he's taking care of all things PEIMS (state reports) and is the attendance officer as well as assistant IT guy. He's been there since August and while I won't go into all the details, it really has been a blessing. We now both know what it's like to work in such a great environment with amazing (unwritten) benefits and under decent leadership. And our school is the first iSchool in Texas-check out ischoolcampus.org and cumberlandacademy.com (which will be new and improved very soon) for more details.
We are starting to be more faithful and get more involved in church after a brief hiatus for personal reasons. God is really beginning to stir our hearts in different areas and we're looking forward to what the future holds. There's also a new member of our family:
Meet Oscar. He's our 4 month old Yorkie that Z surprised me with for Valentine's day this year. We had fallen in love with the yorkie that some of our friends have and I had puppy fever. I figure, better a dog than a kid. Oscar is learning to use puppy pads and is a playful little guy even if he is the quietest. dog. ever. No barking or whining at his first vet visit (which included shots) and he's super laid back and loves to cuddle. (Z says he got the perfect dog for me-we love cuddling...see below.)
Now for the reason I'm back to blogging (and hopefully not making this entirely too long).
A few months ago, I really got my booty into gear with working out and eating healthier. Z & I were hitting the gym 5+ days a week and on Weight Watchers, I was doing great at keeping track of what I ate. I lost 12 pounds in 6 weeks and was feeling good. Until I got sick. And then, I used my sickness as an excuse. And have been even to this day.
I'm tired of the excuses and ridiculous reasons I come up with about not being able to eat right or not going to the gym. So this time, I'm becoming accountable. To you. But more importantly, to myself. I know I don't have many readers and I may never have more than my mom and my husband. But I figure if I at least start writing about my journey to healthiness, I can be aware of the person I am, the person I'm becoming and the decisions I make.
With these newest posts, I plan to have weigh-ins, post pictures, write reflections and summaries of how I'm spending my days and what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. I want to have some memories of my current life and be able to really see the transformation taking place-what better way to keep up with all of those things than the written word.
For the record, my heaviest weight was somewhere around 300 pounds. 300 POUNDS!!! Yes, you read that right. I'm not proud of that. Today, I hover around 290 and while I'm not obsessive about the numbers on a scale, my numbers OBVIOUSLY show I have a long road ahead of me. I'm back to tracking my food/activity on Weight Watchers and plan to let the gym kick my booty again soon. Join me if you'd like as I make this trek to a healthier life and if you choose not to, I'll just keep moving forward for the person it matters to the most: ME.
One step at a time, one choice at a time...
Bethany
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