often go awry. Unfortunately, that's been the motto with my blog as of late. I've written 2 posts but after clicking the 'Publish Post' button, Blogger decided to erase significant chunks of my writing both times. The 1st I edited the content back in after an e-mail from my mother. The 2nd I have yet to correct and re-post (so it's sitting in my draft list) because I just haven't felt like recreating almost half of the post. One day soon, I hope but that explains my absence.
Yesterday dealt me an ugly blow by my despised enemy Mr. Reality regarding my personal life. I knew this day was coming but I was doing all I could to run the opposite direction. But I just couldn't run fast enough and he caught up with me. Thankfully, good can come from bad and God does make messages out of my messes. I am definitely learning total dependence on Him through this situation. When you've reached the end of who you are and what you have, there He begins. And the funny thing is that He wants me to reach for Him first to begin with, which I fail to do so often. I've been in similar situations before but never with such pressure that I feel now.
The irony is that lately my daily e-mail devotions have been dealing with God being faithful and working things out for me. He is my Shield, my Protector, my Defender, my Provider, my Way Maker. I especially love that in Romans, Paul asks us that if God gave us His most prized possession, His Son, so why would he withhold anything else from us? My God is faithful and always shows up on time and I know He will in this situation as well. And if it causes me to be drawn closer to Him, bring on the struggles.
On the positive side, Zeb and I have grown closer through this, as we always do during trials. He has, once again, proven himself to be the best blessing I've ever received. I am able to be 100% completely honest and he continues to love and support me as best he can long distance. Today he even e-mailed me a "Prayer Time" playlist for me to use while I spent some MUCH needed time in serious prayer. My life is blessed to the utmost because of him and I would never want to even try to find someone to compare to him-I know I'd fail miserably. He is sensitive to my needs and knows exactly what I need to feel safe and when I need a spiritual kick in the tushie (and how to say that without feeling like I'm being kicked). He really is my soulmate and that surprises me and makes me grateful beyond measure every day.
For now, I am choosing to be thankful for my blessings. Even with hardships, I am blessed-with a fabulous family and friends, job security, an amazing fiance, a progressing church, a dependable car, a nice home with all the amenities I need, and more food and clothes than I need. I realize that I am unworthily blessed and have decided to live accordingly-walking in confidence and gratitude that the Lord of creation is not just my Best Friend but my Daddy.
Blessings,
B
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32
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