Since I am homebound for the evening and have been since noon today, it's time for an update. I'm actually bored out of my mind even though I have a few things to get done and I've already been pretty productive for someone who has a sever sinus infection, no voice, and can't stop coughing to save my life.
There's not too much to say since my last post yesterday. It's funny how when I'm busy I want to be home but when I'm stuck at home, I desperately want to be busy. When I woke up this morning and barely had a voice, I decided that a doctor's visit was in order. So I went ahead to work and called the doc 15 minutes after they opened. I was in and out of there in 30 minutes so after dropping off my prescription, picking up breakfast and working a bit longer, I made my way home. I was online for a bit and tried to sleep but could only doze. So I got up and did what any sick person would do.
I made pancakes, washed dishes, filed bills, organized my planner, rearranged kitchen cabinets, took out the trash, wrote a birthday card, checked e-mails and here I am. I definitely don't like this whole "lay around the house all day" thing which is why I would never be a good housewife. I'd at least have to volunteer or work part time. (And I am definitely not opposed to either of those options.)
Since The Refining (my girls' small group meeting) last night, I haven't really been able to stop thinking about them. I had 5 teenage girls 13-17 and in all honesty, I had no idea what to do with them. Our lesson was about feeling invisible and how we aren't invisible to God but they shared so much more than I imagined they would. I am amazed at how much young women determine their value based on what boys say about them. Or even their friends. My heart breaks for them and longs for them to understand that the only opinion that matters is God's. But I catch myself, even before I say something that sounds like it came straight out of my mother's mouth, remembering how I felt at 15 and what I wouldn't have given to have just 1 boy tell me I was beautiful. The extra sad thing about this? All of those girls are beautiful and have no idea how much potential they have. But then again, at their age, neither did I. It's so ironic how similar we (girls) all are and how much we long for the same things and really just desire acceptance and love. And no matter how long I preach that God created us exactly how He wants us to be and loves us beyond anything we could ever imagine, we still just desire human love and affection-myself included. I can't tell you how many times I catch myself wishing for the days of my teenage years again and what I would do differently and how great my friends were. And then I remember the angst that every teenage girl feels and all the time I wasted focusing on boys or how good/bad I looked. As the phrase says, "If I had known then what I know now..."
I just pray God is helping them through me. I pray that they would learn to love and accept themselves as the radiant and beautiful young ladies that I know they are. And above all else to seek the approval of the only One who truly matters...
For His smile,
B
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14
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