A Post About Nothing

There's not been that much to post about lately in Small Town, TX unless you count all the chaos that is my life. Still driving to Tyler on the weekends, directing a children's ministry, planning a wedding, job hunting, training a new girl at my current job and basically trying to maintain 2 lives-1 in Small Town & 1 in New Town.

Z and I went to mi abuela's (grandmother) house 2 weekends in a row around her birthday week. The 1st weekend he met my aunt and uncle and the 2nd he met their son and daughter. They were interesting weekends but went well. We played the game that never ends aka Phase 10 the 2nd visit and had quite a few good laughs. It was good to see family again but boy, were we busy!

Since Z and I started as the Youth & Children's Pastors at our church, he and I have both been extremely stressed. He is the only other full-time staff member besides our Senior Pastor (who is bi-vocational) so therefore he is the only person at the church all day every day. That much is fine but we are in the beginning stages of a building program and soon he will be managing workers and making sure the construction is getting done. In addition, I've been leaning on him heavily regarding children's ministry "stuff" and he has been a HUGE help. But he's had a lot of pressure as we've been working for the church, planning events, planning the wedding (which he's had a lot of input on), and all this while being away from family. Not to mention the hardest job of all-handling me. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past few weeks as I struggle with exhaustion, stress with the wedding, and pressure on myself for a job, with the church, and just with life in general. So poor Z has had his hands full.

BUT everything is about to change with 1 little word: VACATION. We fly out super early Wednesday morning to visit NC for a few days so we can do cake tastings, an engagement photo shoot, meet with the event planner, I can try on dresses and attend my best friend's wedding. Wow-that will be a busy 4 days! But at least we're getting out of town for a bit by ourselves. It will be nice to not deal with work or church for at least a short time. And I'm excited to see my parents and get to spend time with them. It should be a fun and only semi-stressful trip.

So, until next time...I'm going to Carolina in my mind (& for real)!

Blessings,
B

Ok, this is getting scary...

Today's Christian Woman sends me an Encouraging Words Daily Devotional every morning. Today's devotion???

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Today's Verse from the New Living Translation

"Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else? … Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? … No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. … No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." —Romans 8:32, 35, 37, 39 view in context

Encouragement for Today

Nothing can separate us from the love of God. We must not look to circumstances for evidence of God's love or proof that he will take care of us. If God did not withhold the best he had to give us—the life of his Son—will he not also give us everything else, including his love and power? When circumstances are dire, don't look at them. Gaze at the cross of Christ and what he suffered there for you. Then his suffering—and victory—will swallow up your suffering. Paul says that "overwhelming victory" is ours. —Diane Eble, author of Abundant Gifts: A Daybook of Grace-Filled Devotions

So I think God really is trying to tell me something. Whaddyathink?

Isn't it ironic???

Blessings,
B

P.S. Thanks to my amazing fiance for the idea of adding our wedding countdown to my page!

Coincidence? I think not.

For the record, today's Daily Bible Verse (on my sidebar-thanks Bible Gateway!) is definitely my favorite verse(s) in the entire Bible. (Romans 8:35-39) Yes, my Abba knows exactly what I need.

~B
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39

Our greatest plans...

often go awry. Unfortunately, that's been the motto with my blog as of late. I've written 2 posts but after clicking the 'Publish Post' button, Blogger decided to erase significant chunks of my writing both times. The 1st I edited the content back in after an e-mail from my mother. The 2nd I have yet to correct and re-post (so it's sitting in my draft list) because I just haven't felt like recreating almost half of the post. One day soon, I hope but that explains my absence.

Yesterday dealt me an ugly blow by my despised enemy Mr. Reality regarding my personal life. I knew this day was coming but I was doing all I could to run the opposite direction. But I just couldn't run fast enough and he caught up with me. Thankfully, good can come from bad and God does make messages out of my messes. I am definitely learning total dependence on Him through this situation. When you've reached the end of who you are and what you have, there He begins. And the funny thing is that He wants me to reach for Him first to begin with, which I fail to do so often. I've been in similar situations before but never with such pressure that I feel now.

The irony is that lately my daily e-mail devotions have been dealing with God being faithful and working things out for me. He is my Shield, my Protector, my Defender, my Provider, my Way Maker. I especially love that in Romans, Paul asks us that if God gave us His most prized possession, His Son, so why would he withhold anything else from us? My God is faithful and always shows up on time and I know He will in this situation as well. And if it causes me to be drawn closer to Him, bring on the struggles.

On the positive side, Zeb and I have grown closer through this, as we always do during trials. He has, once again, proven himself to be the best blessing I've ever received. I am able to be 100% completely honest and he continues to love and support me as best he can long distance. Today he even e-mailed me a "Prayer Time" playlist for me to use while I spent some MUCH needed time in serious prayer. My life is blessed to the utmost because of him and I would never want to even try to find someone to compare to him-I know I'd fail miserably. He is sensitive to my needs and knows exactly what I need to feel safe and when I need a spiritual kick in the tushie (and how to say that without feeling like I'm being kicked). He really is my soulmate and that surprises me and makes me grateful beyond measure every day.

For now, I am choosing to be thankful for my blessings. Even with hardships, I am blessed-with a fabulous family and friends, job security, an amazing fiance, a progressing church, a dependable car, a nice home with all the amenities I need, and more food and clothes than I need. I realize that I am unworthily blessed and have decided to live accordingly-walking in confidence and gratitude that the Lord of creation is not just my Best Friend but my Daddy.

Blessings,
B
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

Will You Be My Valentine?

Yes, it's official. Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. It's cheesy but I love LOVE and being able to do things for people just because I love them-not expecting anything in return or wanting to be recognized. People don't expect treats for Valentine's day unless they are in a committed relationship. Yet that's just what I did last year on this day. I had broken up with the reason I moved to Texas in December and was quite depressed with the expectations I had for the "Day of Love". But instead of grieving what was or could have been or would be, I decided to make treats for those around me who may not always be appreciated the way they should be. I ended up taking them to the ladies at my bank, my co-workers, and my mail delivery person. That night, I cooked myself a nice dinner and stayed in to shamelessly watch chick flicks and celebrate love...with myself.

See, the way I express my love is by giving gifts-whether they're homemade, store bought or just randomly created. I LOVE to give people things or do things for them. I love to see the look in their eyes or hear the excitement in their voice as they receive or realize I've done something for them. And it's not about the recognition really (ok, maybe a little) but for me, to brighten their day even in the smallest way is the most rewarding gift I could ever receive.

Recently, my mom and I were conversing about our lives and making a difference for people. Through all of my transition lately, I've been reflecting over my life and wondering if I've made a difference for anybody at all in my 25 years on this planet. I know I've taught classes and helped people but I wonder if my contributions have made that big of an impact on the world. In that conversation my mom reminded me of the following story by Loren Eiseley:

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

That conversation with my mom, who had been doing the same kind of introspection that I was in desperate need of, changed my view of my life. I now realize that if I make a difference for just 1 person (each day, each week, each month) that my life has purpose. I know God can use my mess to make a message and I pray He will take the mess that I make of my life sometimes a lot of the time and turn it into something beneficial for someone. May my life be always and only for His glory, pointing ever upward as I take each step in faith.

So now, each morning as I awake and get ready for my day, I ask myself:

Who's my starfish for today???

Blessings,
B
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20