Does that make me crazy? Probably.

(Thanks Gnarls Barkley, for the blog title.)

Just when I thought things would settle down somewhat, they get intensely busier.

In a matter of 12 hours my job went on the total chaos track, wedding planning has me COMPLETELY freaked out, and church work has officially invaded and dominated every other thought I've had today. Talk about driving somebody crazy.

Today has just been a hectic day and I know that things will improve once I am gainfully employed in Tyler. I do have a phone screening set up for tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. I am just anxious to get moved and settled.

As I sat in my office manager's office just chatting about the next step for me and for the agency, I had a slap in the face thanks to my very own life. Coming to Paris has been a literal rollercoaster for me. When I first arrived, things were slow and steady. They eventually picked up until they were at full blast 24/7 it seemed, and now they have calmed back down (if only momentarily). But with all the things I've experienced-the spiritual mountaintops that made me feel invincible, the heartbreak I thought I'd never recover from, the joy that I shared with everyone I knew, the tears I cried alone some nights-all of those have helped mold me into the confident woman that I am today.

The relationship I was in when I moved here allowed me to see what I need in a man, what I desire and, in turn what I don't need-which is equally important. I learned to never settle for a man who is less than what I deserve-and I most definitely am not. He also taught me that though I may be intimidating to some, that is my confidence and self-assuredness that I automatically emit even when I am scared to death. And all of those things are ok. The time spent with that young man was worth it. I pray God's blessings on him as he seeks to find his destiny. As always, God had His best for me and that relationship was just part of the journey.

The job I have worked for the past 15 months has shown me that good can come from all situations-even a *seemingly* dead-end job. It may not have been a field I know or care about and I may have had to work with some 'interesting' characters while I've been there, but God has used me and I am confident of that. Without sounding haughty, my co-workers have needed to be reminded of the grace of God and the unconditional love He bestows even if they haven't fully accepted it. If nothing else, they needed the smiling face and positive attitude I've attempted to have while being there. And it's done them some good to see a person who can get along with everyone and not participate in office politics that they tire themselves on daily. Not to mention that I've learned more about insurance than I ever thought I'd know which will serve me very well in the future.

One of the most important lessons I've learned is that times of solitude are often when God can till the garden of my heart and then plant and cultivate His ultimate plan for my life. Has my time in Paris been a walk in the park? Not by any means. But had I not come here, I would have never slowed down enough to turn down the noise of my busy life and listen to His still, small voice gently calling me to ministry. Sure, I knew I wanted to be in ministry but I would have never anticipated the opportunity of being so intensely involved. And that involvement led me to be assured that as I lean on Him to Pilot my life, He will make me far more successful and satisfied than my own schemes would have been. Paris will forever be my launching pad for the ministry and even with the heartache this town has seen me through, I will always remember it fondly and be grateful for the opportunity to have served here.

But with this new year, I am on to new and different opportunities. I don't believe places can ever be adequately compared as each church and ministry is its own. But as Paris held great experiences and opportunities, Tyler holds even more. And I can't wait to embark on that leg of my journey!

Blessings,
B
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11