After a brief hiatus, I'm back!
For some reason, this blank screen intimidates me. I love to write but I want so badly for what I say to be relevant, to have some meaning to someone. The thought of sharing my innermost thoughts or "baring my soul to the world" (as my mom termed it) is a bit scary. But I know that God is continually working on me and giving me new insights on my life, my relationships, Him and I'm excited to share.
For some reason, this blank screen intimidates me. I love to write but I want so badly for what I say to be relevant, to have some meaning to someone. The thought of sharing my innermost thoughts or "baring my soul to the world" (as my mom termed it) is a bit scary. But I know that God is continually working on me and giving me new insights on my life, my relationships, Him and I'm excited to share.
So I use a lot of media examples in my blog and tonight is no different. ER (one of my faves) is about to go off and there was just a scene in which Dr. Pratt is consoling a former doctor who used to inject the medicines involved with lethal injection. After an intense fight with the hospital chaplain, the doctor is uncontrollably angry because of the past 'murders' he has committed and all he can say is "It doesn't make sense". Pratt responds, "It doesn't have to make sense-that's why it's called faith".
My first thought after Pratt spoke those words was "WOW-what a profound statement!" Yes, it's a statement that I've heard over and over during the course of my life but I never thought of the impact a lack of faith has on an unbeliever in this way. This man is hurting, deeply and he has nowhere to turn. We as Christians, though we may not always believe it 100%, have placed our faith in God and somehow have a peace in knowing that all things are working together for our good according to Romans 8:28. We believe that our lives have purpose and that God created us as part of the grand scheme of His plan. We believe that we are perfectly formed and that our lives matter. We believe that though we are here on earth now, we are simply strangers to this world awaiting a greater day when we will live eternally with Jesus in heaven, a place with no sorrow, no sickness, and no death. For these reasons, we have hope. Hope that God can use us no matter how many times we mess up. Hope that life does get better than what we're experiencing now. Hope that our faith and the actions spurned from it will mean reward for us later.
So now that we know what believers put their faith in, what exactly do unbelievers have to hope for? Many chase after success that will vanish within a few years when they die. Some chase after love that will only leave them broken and empty when it's over. There are some who run towards financial prosperity which can't buy joy and others who are looking for acceptance from a cold, harsh world. And none of these desires will ever be realized until they find the One who placed those voids in them. Only God can raise us up to be leaders in a world where the devil has so much control. Only He can fill that God-shaped void in our hearts that longs to be filled so that we can love others. Only He can provide for us even when all we see is a negative bank account. And only He will love, forgive and accept us just as we are and then mold us into the creation we are intended to be.
Life without God doesn't make sense. We can spend our whole lives running from place to place searching for all the things our flesh desires. And at the end of the day, all we have is what we were able to accomplish in our own strength. But God in His infinite power is able to do so much more. Living that pointless life can be tiring, stressful, and hopeless. And as a friend recently said, "If we (Christians) don't have hope, we're no different from the world". Thankfully, we can have the hope that Christ in us can fulfill all the longings of our heart. The world has no such hope, they are without hope, hopeless. And what a disappointing and depressing way to live-to walk aimlessly, with no purpose. I just don't see myself being very successful at such a life, which is perhaps why God allowed me to be raised in the faith.
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I wrote the above on the date this says it was posted. However, it's January 22 today and I've had some new revelations concerning the above topic. As I was driving to and from my Grandmother's this weekend, I had some serious Jesus time. Spiritually, things have been on the up & up for me lately but there were some corners covered with cobwebs that I really needed to clean out. And since I've been fasting playing any music in my car, those 5 hours were a perfect time to come clean with Jesus-which is exactly what I did. I just laid it all out there-all of my desires, my mistakes, my struggles. I left no stone unturned and when I got home, I felt like a gigantic weight that I'd been carrying for a looong time had been lifted. It's amazing to me how time spent with the Almighty will do that. Anyway, during that time I sang, talked, prayed and just had intimate fellowship with my Creator. And I declared that even though much of my life didn't make sense, I would continue to cling to my faith.
Sunday morning came too early but I felt ready for church and set my sights on truly experiencing God and loving those in my church. The message my pastor delivered about the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life was phenomenal. It completely reiterated everything I had felt the night before and I felt assurance in such confirmation. I spent Sunday afternoon at lunch with my adopted families here and then working out with one of the girls' in our youth group. It was a welcome change from my usual Sunday afternoon tv/nap session and I was excited to see Sunday night's service come. I spent time in prayer before service and really felt God's power during praise & worship. All I could think was, "Wow, God! It doesn't get any better than this!". And then it did. As our pastor delivered another powerful & truly relevant message regarding Killing Our Kids' Kings (protecting our children/youth & teaching them how to protect themselves from the enemy as they grow), I contemplated the state of my life.
Now any of you who have known me for any length of time known that I like, no have, to have things planned out. I can be spontaneous but for the most part, I love to organize and plan my life or anyone's who will let me. So as I pondered my current state of affairs and how I came from the grand and glorious foothills and mountains of North Carolina and Tennessee to relocate myself to this little, country cowboy-land, I realized that not many of the significant changes in my life has made sense. To leave the safe haven of the Southern Baptist church that I was raised in and go to a tiny pentecostal, charismatic Church of God that I knew nothing about... To leave the prominent, ivy league school close to home where I started my studies and go to a Church of God school that I visited once and was 6 hours from home... To leave a great job and a comfortable home in a growing city and move to a tiny, cowboy/redneck town... I don't get it. And that's when God spoke to me-sitting on the front row of the far right side of our sanctuary- If our lives and all the events in them made sense to us, where would God fit? If we understood everything, why should we have faith? Seriously, think about it: If all the experiences in my life made sense to me (being the analyst that I am), I could claim that I worked my life out in my own power. I could say that I accomplished great things and that I did all of these grand things during my time on earth. But since it'd doesn't and we can't (make sense and understand), I have to give all glory to God when the pieces start to fit together. He alone causes all of the unrelated situations that are a part of my journey to be pieced together into the tapestry that is my life. Now forgive me for "stealing" this thought if you've heard it before-I hadn't so I'm claiming it as my own for now. And for now, this is one of the GREATEST revelations that I've had in quite a while. You see, this realization allows me the freedom and peace to let go of trying to make sense out of everything. I can stop attempting to answer the questions I have about my purpose and my life and I can quit using my finite little brain to advance my futile attempts to comprehend the vast God I serve. I don't have to have all the answers! All I have to do is trust Him and know that in the end, it will all come together and not one tiny, seemingly insignificant piece will be missing.
So today, I rest with peace of mind knowing that it's ok for me to not have a clue...God's got it under control!
So now that we know what believers put their faith in, what exactly do unbelievers have to hope for? Many chase after success that will vanish within a few years when they die. Some chase after love that will only leave them broken and empty when it's over. There are some who run towards financial prosperity which can't buy joy and others who are looking for acceptance from a cold, harsh world. And none of these desires will ever be realized until they find the One who placed those voids in them. Only God can raise us up to be leaders in a world where the devil has so much control. Only He can fill that God-shaped void in our hearts that longs to be filled so that we can love others. Only He can provide for us even when all we see is a negative bank account. And only He will love, forgive and accept us just as we are and then mold us into the creation we are intended to be.
Life without God doesn't make sense. We can spend our whole lives running from place to place searching for all the things our flesh desires. And at the end of the day, all we have is what we were able to accomplish in our own strength. But God in His infinite power is able to do so much more. Living that pointless life can be tiring, stressful, and hopeless. And as a friend recently said, "If we (Christians) don't have hope, we're no different from the world". Thankfully, we can have the hope that Christ in us can fulfill all the longings of our heart. The world has no such hope, they are without hope, hopeless. And what a disappointing and depressing way to live-to walk aimlessly, with no purpose. I just don't see myself being very successful at such a life, which is perhaps why God allowed me to be raised in the faith.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote the above on the date this says it was posted. However, it's January 22 today and I've had some new revelations concerning the above topic. As I was driving to and from my Grandmother's this weekend, I had some serious Jesus time. Spiritually, things have been on the up & up for me lately but there were some corners covered with cobwebs that I really needed to clean out. And since I've been fasting playing any music in my car, those 5 hours were a perfect time to come clean with Jesus-which is exactly what I did. I just laid it all out there-all of my desires, my mistakes, my struggles. I left no stone unturned and when I got home, I felt like a gigantic weight that I'd been carrying for a looong time had been lifted. It's amazing to me how time spent with the Almighty will do that. Anyway, during that time I sang, talked, prayed and just had intimate fellowship with my Creator. And I declared that even though much of my life didn't make sense, I would continue to cling to my faith.
Sunday morning came too early but I felt ready for church and set my sights on truly experiencing God and loving those in my church. The message my pastor delivered about the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life was phenomenal. It completely reiterated everything I had felt the night before and I felt assurance in such confirmation. I spent Sunday afternoon at lunch with my adopted families here and then working out with one of the girls' in our youth group. It was a welcome change from my usual Sunday afternoon tv/nap session and I was excited to see Sunday night's service come. I spent time in prayer before service and really felt God's power during praise & worship. All I could think was, "Wow, God! It doesn't get any better than this!". And then it did. As our pastor delivered another powerful & truly relevant message regarding Killing Our Kids' Kings (protecting our children/youth & teaching them how to protect themselves from the enemy as they grow), I contemplated the state of my life.
Now any of you who have known me for any length of time known that I like, no have, to have things planned out. I can be spontaneous but for the most part, I love to organize and plan my life or anyone's who will let me. So as I pondered my current state of affairs and how I came from the grand and glorious foothills and mountains of North Carolina and Tennessee to relocate myself to this little, country cowboy-land, I realized that not many of the significant changes in my life has made sense. To leave the safe haven of the Southern Baptist church that I was raised in and go to a tiny pentecostal, charismatic Church of God that I knew nothing about... To leave the prominent, ivy league school close to home where I started my studies and go to a Church of God school that I visited once and was 6 hours from home... To leave a great job and a comfortable home in a growing city and move to a tiny, cowboy/redneck town... I don't get it. And that's when God spoke to me-sitting on the front row of the far right side of our sanctuary- If our lives and all the events in them made sense to us, where would God fit? If we understood everything, why should we have faith? Seriously, think about it: If all the experiences in my life made sense to me (being the analyst that I am), I could claim that I worked my life out in my own power. I could say that I accomplished great things and that I did all of these grand things during my time on earth. But since it'd doesn't and we can't (make sense and understand), I have to give all glory to God when the pieces start to fit together. He alone causes all of the unrelated situations that are a part of my journey to be pieced together into the tapestry that is my life. Now forgive me for "stealing" this thought if you've heard it before-I hadn't so I'm claiming it as my own for now. And for now, this is one of the GREATEST revelations that I've had in quite a while. You see, this realization allows me the freedom and peace to let go of trying to make sense out of everything. I can stop attempting to answer the questions I have about my purpose and my life and I can quit using my finite little brain to advance my futile attempts to comprehend the vast God I serve. I don't have to have all the answers! All I have to do is trust Him and know that in the end, it will all come together and not one tiny, seemingly insignificant piece will be missing.
So today, I rest with peace of mind knowing that it's ok for me to not have a clue...God's got it under control!
1 comment:
Good Words Good Words!!! You have some awesome writings on here!!! How are you???? :0) I know you're enjoying Texas, and looks like you're growing so strong in the Lord, that's wonderful!!! Love ya girl! Christina
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