The Song of the Spirit

Move In Me by Michael W. Smith

I am only human
Struggling to find
Confidence in all that I believe
You are only holy
You are love defined
And you have said to ask and I’ll recieve

So I have come to pray
That you will come and fill
The hunger here inside me to grow
Stronger in the faith
There’s a longing and a need
To have you ever closer
Come fill me

Cause when you move in me
It’s like a symphony
The timeless melody
That soothes my soul
Though silent I can tell
That you’re alive and well
Cause I can feel you move
In me

What they try to tell me
Is that your love is false
What they try to tell me
Is that your is false
And faith is just a way
I choose to feel
And that there was no meaning
To you upon the cross
And I should reach for something that is real
And when those words are said
The questions in me start
And I don’t have any answers
Until I stop thinking with my head
And start listening to my heart
And there I find my assurance
I tell them

Cause when you move in me
It’s like a symphony
The timeless melody
That soothes my soul
Though silent I can tell
That you’re alive and well
Cause I can feel you move
In me
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I know I've posted quite a few songs lately but this one really struck me today (as it played on my AOL XM radio of course). This morning was a bit of a downer just because I let my guard down and became distracted by work and my current situation (and being tired didn't help). I got some disturbing news on my lunch break that caused me even more frustration and I was beginning to get angry. So often I feel like I have question after question for God and it would be so much easier if He would just call me or send me a tangible sign with the answers.

But I decided to encourage myself-as we Pentecostals call it-and pray and move on. So I had some Jesus time driving back to work and just poured out my heart to Him (as I'm sure other drivers amused themselves with my abnormal behavior). Immediately I began to feel more positive, like a weight had been lifted from me. When I got back to work, I had some extra time so I sat in my car and took a few minutes to read my Bible. Genesis 12 was part of my reading for today when God speaks to Abram and instructs him to leave his home land and move to the place He would reveal. The story goes something like this:

1 The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.
2 "I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
3 I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you."

Now to the ordinary person, these verses may not mean much. Sure, Abram had faith to just leave his home and trust that God would provide and then he would be really blessed. But to me, these words are my life. Before I came to Texas, I prayed fervently for God to confirm this was what He wanted for me. Why would anyone in their right mind give up a good job, close proximity to family, a great group of friends to move somewhere 700 miles away where they don't know anybody, don't have a job or place to live and are basically all alone?

I'll tell you why-because that's what God told me to do. Was it an easy decision even though I knew God had spoken it to me? No. Has it been a leisurely walk in the park? No. Does it make sense even after 4 1/2 months? No. But that's the awesome thing about God-someday it all will come together and I'll see how every piece of the puzzle of my life was put into place according to His perfect plan. And while that is so much easier to say than to believe, somewhere in my heart and soul, I have peace. Which is where the above song comes in-that line in bold about listening to my heart and not thinking with my head is so me. As I've expressed in recent postings, it takes me a while to connect what my head knows and what my heart feels. It takes me even longer to surrender what I think and what makes sense to what I feel and what is true since I am such a type A. That part of my personality is still a work in progress and probably will be for quite a while. My only prayer is that my life be a blessing to others as Abram's was promised to be. That would be the best reward to come from my life-that others see Jesus in me and seek Him as a result.

For now, I'll let the timeless melody of the symphony of the Holy Spirit be my guide...